First up, we have Mubarak (MUBARAK), a token that sounds like it was named by someone who just discovered autocorrect. Then there’s CZ’s Dog (BROCCOLI714), which, let’s be honest, sounds like a pet project gone rogue. Tutorial (TUT) is next, because apparently, we all need a lesson in how to lose money. And finally, Banana For Scale (BANANAS31), because why measure success in dollars when you can use fruit? 🍌
Having taken a nosedive of nearly 50% from its lofty heights in the past three months, Ethereum has been as reliable as a broken clock. It even dipped to a paltry $1,754 earlier this month, all thanks to Bitcoin’s dramatic plunge below the $80k mark on March 11. One can only imagine the gasps of horror from the crypto aficionados! 😱
CoinPedia’s technical analysis, that oracle of the digital age, insists that XRP remains in an uptrend, clinging precariously to the 200 Exponential Moving Average (EMA) on the daily chart. Yet, the fall below $2.40 has opened the floodgates to a potential descent to $2—a level that now looms like a guillotine over the heads of investors. Will it be salvation or slaughter? Only time will tell. 🕰️
So, what’s behind Green’s bold forecast? Apparently, it’s all about Trump – and no, not just his famous hairdo. 🙃 Green thinks the U.S. President’s crypto endorsement might just be the rocket fuel Bitcoin needs to blast off into the stratosphere. And if that’s not enough, Trump’s tariff policies could create just enough economic chaos to send investors scurrying for safe havens… like gold, and its hip, digital cousin, Bitcoin (aka “digital gold” for those in the know). 💃
Quoth Bitwise: “By the end of this decade, XRP shall ascend to the celestial sum of $29.32!” But, ah! ‘Tis not without its trials and tribulations. For XRP must conquer the realms of payments and tokenization, and in doing so, carve its name upon the annals of financial history. 🗡️
On the bustling platform of X, where the crypto enthusiasts congregate, Van de Poppe whispers to his781,500 eager followers that LINK is tiptoeing into a breakout against Bitcoin (LINK/BTC), and on the weekly chart, no less. A sight to behold, indeed!
You see, this bill is like a pair of fraternal twins, mirroring a similar bill introduced by Representative Tom Emmer from Minnesota. They’re practically identical, these two bills, as if they were hatched from the same political egg. Both proclaim that the prohibition wouldn’t apply to any dollar-denominated currency that’s open, permissionless, and private. As if those things ever go together in the wild world of politics! 😂
Santiment, those sentiment sleuths, report a positively giddy 18:1 positive-to-negative sentiment ratio – a near-record high, if you can imagine! 🤯 It seems the big cheeses in the institutional world are giving Solana a hearty thumbs up, and the crowd is going wild!
This audacious seizure was part of a grand operation to thwart terrorist financing, which, according to the DOJ, has been laundering over $1.5 million in virtual currency since October 2024. Because, you know, why not? Who doesn’t love a good money-laundering scheme on a Tuesday?
The last dress rehearsal happened on March 26, when developers ditched their digital tuxedos and threw Pectra onto Hoodi. And guess what? It only took 30 minutes to complete! Talk about efficiency! It’s like they finally figured out how to microwave popcorn without burning it.
