Crypto news

The Japan Virtual and Crypto Assets Exchange Association (JVCEA), the watchdog of Japan’s digital currency landscape, has added SHIB to its Green List. This isn’t just a ‘we like you’ pat on the head, mind you. The Green List is reserved for assets with strong liquidity, a solid exchange presence, and a track record of behaving themselves in the market. It’s basically the VIP lounge for cryptocurrencies that have proven they can play nice with others. And now, SHIB is part of the cool crowd. 😎

According to the grapevine, after 14 years of chasin’ digital gold, they’re fixin’ to chase after the next big thing: artificial intelligence, quantum computin’, and all that fancy decentralized identity hootenanny. 🌐 Who knew those miners had such lofty ambitions? Seems like they’re aim’n to be the belle of the tech ball.

Kunal Mehta, a man who once asked the universe “How else can I launder money?” has admitted guilt in a RICO conspiracy that swiped 4,100 Bitcoin (BTC), worth $263 million when he started and $384.5 million now because, apparently, inflation even affects crime. 🪙

Fresh on-chain data from Glassnode, shared on X social media, shows that the portion of the XRP supply in profit has decreased to 58.5%. This is the lowest level ever recorded since November 2024, when the cryptocurrency was trading near $0.53. What’s alarming about this low stat is that the decline in investors’ profit is happening despite the altcoin currently trading more than 4X its price in 2024. 🤡📈

Renaissance Technologies (Rentec), the legendary quantitative powerhouse known for treating markets like solvable math puzzles, recently revealed a notable position in Strategy (MSTR) in its latest 13F filings. 🤯

The latest Federal Reserve minutes, with all the subtlety of a hammer, signaled caution-yes, caution!-regarding inflation and labor market chaos, causing traders to frantically reprice their bets. Like a bad soap opera, inflation fears and job market whispers spooked everyone, turning optimism into skepticism overnight. 📉

Meanwhile, across the desert, Abu Dhabi’s Mubadala Investment Company, that most enigmatic of sovereign wealth funds, chose this precise moment to splash $518 million on a Bitcoin ETF. A move that would make a Roman emperor raise an eyebrow, triple its Bitcoin exposure, and then promptly watch the market crash like a soufflé in a sandstorm. One must admire their audacity-or perhaps their delusion.

Crypto, the impulsive youth, panics at the first sign of tightening liquidity. Stocks, the grizzled factory worker, grin and bear it, fueled by institutional bribes-uh, I mean “earnings.” 💰

Galaxy Research reports that the boom was driven mainly by onchain lending-up from 48.6% four years ago to a hefty 66.9%. DeFi lending alone skyrocketed 55% to hit an all-time high of $41 billion. That’s a lot of digital IOUs driven by user incentives and shiny new collateral gadgets like Pendle Principal Tokens. 🎩

The planners, in a display of tact and not burnout, chose to refund rather than scramble, since, evidently, market clarity is about as elusive as a decent British comedy. This peculiarly titled spectacle was foreshadowed by the South China Morning Post, which seems ever eager to deliver the latest crypto soap opera.