Seems South Korea’s Financial Intelligence Unit—imagine a bunch of serious folks in suits, worried sick over coinage that ain’t jingling in their own pockets—declared these apps guilty of “unreported business activities.” Which is fancy speak for not getting the regulator’s handshake.
“The launch of American Bitcoin is a transformative moment,” Eric triumphantly declared, surely hearing the trumpets in the background. “We are confident it will become the world’s largest and most efficient pure-play Bitcoin miner.” You could almost hear the applause. Or maybe that was just a strong gust of wind.
Janover Inc. (Nasdaq: JNVR), a company that uses AI to connect the multifamily and commercial real estate industry, has been on a Solana shopping spree. This is their third SOL purchase in a month, and on April 15, they dropped $10.5 million to snag 80,567 SOL. 🤑
David Duong, a name that surely strikes fear into the hearts of lesser analysts, Coinbase’s head of institutional research, pointed, with an almost theatrical flair, to the fading appetites of investors. It’s as if they’ve suddenly discovered the joys of… bread and water! Rising global tariffs, those delightful little nuisances, and fiscal tightening, oh, how they squeeze the life out of everything! As a result, both crypto and traditional markets are now drifting in what Duong calls a state of paralysis. A rather poetic way of saying “everyone’s bored and broke,” wouldn’t you agree? 😴
In this riveting saga, we ponder: will Ethereum rise to the majestic $3,000 before Solana (SOL) dares to reach the lofty $200? 🤔
In a rare moment of cooperation, they’ve agreed to put their appeals on pause and actually talk about a settlement. Can you believe it? A settlement! All this time, and now they’re like, “Let’s just save everyone the trouble.” It’s almost like they’re realizing that dragging this out is… maybe not the best idea? Who knew?
In his latest proclamation, Schiff, a notorious gold evangelist, is on a mission to rid the world of what he calls the “epitome of risk assets” (Bitcoin, in case you missed it). His advice? Sell every last sliver of Bitcoin you own, and instead, funnel your hard-earned cash into gold mining stocks. Because, apparently, that’s “the best trade you can make right now.” Cue the confetti.
With a heavy heart, the investment bank has slashed its full-year trading volume forecast by a staggering 19%, now predicting a paltry $1.3 trillion, and has also reduced its first-quarter estimate to $380 billion, a decline of 13% from the previous quarter, as the appetite for risk has waned considerably.
XRP’s rate has dropped by almost 4% since yesterday. Because why not? It’s not like anyone was emotionally invested or anything. 😬
The city council, in a fit of modernity, decided to let folks settle their debts in Bitcoin (BTC), Ethereum (ETH), USD Coin (USDC), and Tether (USDT). Why, you can now pay your taxes, permits, and even those pesky fines with a mere click of a button! Ain’t that a hoot? 🤠