The city council, in a fit of modernity, decided to let folks settle their debts in Bitcoin (BTC), Ethereum (ETH), USD Coin (USDC), and Tether (USDT). Why, you can now pay your taxes, permits, and even those pesky fines with a mere click of a button! Ain’t that a hoot? đ¤
Binance, in a move that I’m sure involved several meetings and a whiteboard covered in buzzwords, announced this via a post on X, or as normal people still call it, Twitter. Naturally, there was a high-energy video. High-energy videos are mandatory these days. It featured Ronaldo, looking vaguely confused, doing football things. I assume it’s meant to get people excited about… digital collectibles? đ¤ I’m not entirely sure what those are, but I suspect they’re less fun than actual collectibles, like Beanie Babies, which, let’s face it, weren’t that fun to begin with.
Bitcoin (BTC) has been playing the role of the timid lamb, sliding down by 2.24% in the last 24 hours. If this was a race, itâs the tortoise, not the hare. đ˘
Now, Nvidia, that shining beacon of silicon wizardry, was up just a smidge as investors reacted to the news that China had waved a white flagâor perhaps just a very polite handkerchiefâindicating a willingness to engage in trade talks with the United States. This was amidst the ongoing tariffs war, which is less of a war and more of a very long, drawn-out argument over who gets the last biscuit. However, earlier losses had cast a shadow over the market, leading to a rather gloomy opening for the major indices.
Following OMâs vanishing actâdown more than 90% overnight, spontaneously and without reason, like most good thingsâMullin assured everyone with: âTo be 100% clear, I am burning MY team tokensâŚâ (Caps lock, the preferred voice of urgency on the internet). There were also vague promises to organize similar bonfires for other bits of OMâs supply. đĽ
Picture this: Five wallets, fueled with more cash than a chocolate factoryâs annual cocoa supply, bought enough PEPE tokens to sink a canoe ($4.28M for 611 BILLION PEPE!).
MARA and RIOT, those devoted servants of Bitcoin mining, continue their descent into the abyss, much like a debutanteâs reputation after a scandalous ball. COIN, though still basking in the glow of a recent rally, now teeters on the edge of a precipice. Let us, dear reader, examine these three unfortunate souls with the precision of a matchmaking mama.
But letâs pause and consider the timing of this little nugget. The markets are trembling with anticipationâeveryoneâs holding their breath, waiting for some sort of life-saving speech from Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell. The poor man might as well have a sign around his neck reading, “Save us, Jerome!” đ
In the latest chapter of this financial saga, the network executed its quarterly token burn on this fateful day, April 16. A fiery spectacle, indeed, as 1.57 million tokens were incinerated, their value now a ghostly $1 billion. This ritual, dictated by the whims of BNB’s price and the blocks produced, serves as a reminder of the ephemeral nature of wealth.
WCT is currently trading at $0.40, which is a lot of money if youâre buying coffee but not so much if youâre buying a Lamborghini. The 24-hour trading volume has skyrocketed by 1700% to over $910 million, which is enough to make even the most seasoned crypto trader raise an eyebrow. Launched on April 15, the project has been making waves with rapid listings on major exchanges like Binance, Crypto.com, Upbit, Kraken, MEXC, Gate.io, KuCoin, OKX, Bybit, and Bithumb. Thatâs a lot of names to remember, so donât worry if you canât.