Crypto news

Thompson’s thesis, as delicate as a moth’s wing, insists the October 10 open-interest purge was not a death knell for Bitcoin and Ethereum, but a prelude to a grander tale. “Behold! The positioning here is rare-a tempest of liquidation on the cusp of macro ‘goldilocks’,” he wrote, comparing the event to a Trumpian victory in 2024. “A 10/10 liquidation, cleansing leverage more fiercely than the entire Jan-Apr ’25 saga,” he declared, as if summoning a storm to clear the air.

They’re dreaming of a $1 victory lap, but as long as it stays above $0.49, maybe there’s hope. Or maybe just a good excuse to sip coffee while obsessing over charts. ☕💸

Coinbase CEO Brian Armstrong, ever the optimist, claims the legislative framework is “90% there,” leaving the remaining 10% to squabble over decentralized finance. One might ask: what’s the point of a 10% disagreement if the other 90% is already a masterpiece of bureaucratic nonsense? 🤯

Behold, the Sendwave Wallet-where USDC dances on the Solana network like a disco ball at a financial fiesta! 🕺💰

Carlson, ever the voice of reason, declared that digital currencies are “totalitarian control.” A bold statement, sure, but let’s not forget that the CIA has been busy doing actual things like overthrowing governments and pretending they don’t exist. Yet here we are, blaming Bitcoin for the end of freedom. 🤡

US President Donald Trump pardoned convicted Binance founder Changpeng “CZ” Zhao. The Wall Street Journal reported this development on Thursday. This move comes after months of furious lobbying and pleas. Petitions were made by the company and the former CEO. The pardon shows forgiveness to one of the most influential figures in the global crypto industry. 🤖🌌

Sure, loads of traders are riding the crypto rollercoaster, but the data’s about as consistent as my love life. Plus, if everyone keeps betting the farm on wild trades, it might turn into a giant mess.

Data, as reliable as a well-mannered host, suggests a period of consolidation. A breach above $115,000 may reignite bullish fervor, yet a failure to do so could see Bitcoin retreat to the humble realm of $105,000. 📉📈

On Thursday, the 23rd of October, the exchange, ever so eager to share its triumphs, took to X (formerly known as Twitter-because who could resist a name change?) to announce the notable milestones achieved since their introduction of XRP futures, just a mere five months ago. And my word, what a success they have been! One might say it is almost as though the markets have awakened from a slumber to demand more of these enticing XRP futures. How curious.

“For September, the median of 18 forecasts estimates a 0.30% rise in the core CPI… That would leave both the 12-month measures at 3.1%.” A cruel joke played by the numbers, or a warning from the gods of economics? 🧙‍♂️