Now, donât get your blockchain in a twist-the price has slowed down faster than my New Yearâs resolution to eat more kale. But the crypto crowd? Oh, theyâre buzzing like a bee in a Bitcoin field. Apparently, a âmomentum-driven rallyâ is on the horizon. Or so says the internet, which, as we all know, is never wrong. đ€
But no, everyoneâs still obsessed with these overpriced, bloated LLMs. If this continues, the AI industry might slow down. Or maybe the U.S. economy will collapse. Either way, weâre doomed. đ€·âïž
According to our insightful oracle Dori, onchain assets shimmer with greater liquidity, bestowing upon lenders the power to summon margin calls like wizards conjuring spells-effortlessly and at any hour of the day! Picture this: it’s midnight on a Friday, and there’s a margin call lurking like a hidden monster in the shadows of the ETF world, when suddenly, you’re left flailing about in the dark, begging for liquidity. Dori muses:
Every day, more companies get starry-eyed about launching their very own Ethereum layer 2 network. Spoiler alert: most of them really shouldnât bother. The market is already bursting at the seams with over 150 of these things, many as centralized as your neighborhood Starbucks and sponsored by single enterprises. Even Robinhood has decided to jump on the bandwagon, as if one layer 2 isnât enough.
TON Strategy Company (TONX) is flexing its muscles after repurchasing over 250,000 shares at $8.32 each. Thatâs a whopping discount compared to their TAV of $12.18. Go ahead, laugh with us. If only all the stock markets were this forgiving.
The man who once claimed he could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue and not lose a voter is now urginâ all them NATO nations to stop buyinâ oil from Russia. Says itâll weaken their hand, like a poker player with a pair of deuces. And that ainât all-heâs itchinâ to slap âmajor sanctionsâ on Russia, but only if everybody in NATO holds hands and sings Kumbaya first. đ
On the daily chart, Ethereumâs been playing hopscotch in its ascending channel, and wouldnât you know it, itâs landed smack dab in the $4.7K-$4.8K supply zone. This olâ ceilingâs been a stubborn cuss before, and now itâs doubled down with the upper channel boundary. If Ethereum closes above it, we might just see a $5K fireworks show. But if it gets rejected, well, itâs back to the $4.4K-$4.2K kiddie pool, where the bulls will have to flex their muscles. đȘđ
On-chain data barked loud and clear: someone tried to move 4.6 million BONE tokens, but the developers were quicker than a greyhound at the races. đŸ
After a low of $0.29 (because even crypto needs a pity party đ), TRX has been dancing in an ascending channel like itâs the 90s. Up 7.09% to $0.355, then a cheeky retrace to $0.352. Volatility: the only thing more unpredictable than my exâs texts. đ”
Vitalik Buterin took the microphone at EthTokyo 2025 with a smile that could light up a Tokyo skyscraper. His story wasnât just about Ethereum; it was a trip down memory lane, reminiscing about the humble beginnings, the crucial role of Asia (who knew?), and an ambitious roadmap to make Ethereum a global phenomenon. Oh, and he wasnât afraid to drop some truth bombs on whatâs next for blockchain tech!
