Crypto news

Allow me to paint the scene, as dark and moody as a Muscovite alley in November. The price, formerly strutting above $0.20 like a general showing off his medals, now snoozes restlessly below $0.17. There it lies, eyes darting to the critical $0.137 threshold (rumoured last seen when people still believed in humanity and stable coins). Should Dogecoin tumble below this—well, expect turbulence worthy of a flying carpet piloted by a blindfolded cat, and a swift rendezvous with the desolate plains of $0.13. Oof.

Filed on the 10th of June during the 13th session of the ninth convocation (which sounds like a wizarding school term), the bill boasts eight cross-party sponsors, including the ever-enthusiastic Yaroslav Zheleznyak, who is apparently the first deputy finance-committee chair. One can only imagine the lively debates that ensued over tea and biscuits.

South Korea, that energetic engine of financial innovation, remains a veritable cauldron of digital asset endeavor. Kaiko’s monumental figures reveal that the won has not merely entered the fray; it is elbowing its way forward, trailing only behind the dollar in terms of fiat-crypto trading volume. What an unparalleled spectacle—like a sumo wrestler trying to sneak past a guarded donut shop!

They started trading crypto back in 2021 for a select few. By September 2024, they were like, “Okay, let’s officially recommend a 3% Bitcoin stake.” Now, if you’re feeling a bit adventurous, you can go up to 7%! Wow, what a leap of faith! 🙄

On-chain analyst ZachXBT was the first to notice something fishy on the Tron [TRX] network. Turns out, there was an initial outflow of $48.65 million. I mean, who’s counting, right? 🙃

Society confidently presumes the interest rates will remain unchanged—a certainty no less solid than Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s intolerance of improper behaviour. The odds of this, according to the ever-precise CME FedWatch, stand at a Lady Catherine-approved 99.1%. Yet, while the outcome may seem certain, one must never underestimate the power of mere words. The tone of Mr. Powell—him of the stern brow and unreadable countenance—may well tip the scales upon the faintest hint of ambiguity, thereby sending our assembly of crypto traders into swoons or fits, depending on whether he chooses the path of caution or candour. 😏

With the Senate’s passage of the GENIUS Act, we stand at the precipice of the crypto apocalypse—an end to the raucous revelry of the Wild West. The first comprehensive regulations are galloping toward the House, heralding a seismic shift in the industry. Some companies will rise like phoenixes, while others will vanish into the ether. Let us dissect the victors, the vanquished, and what this means for your precious portfolio.

As for the facts, dear reader: Bitcoin (BTC) slipped to a rather undignified $104,650 on Wednesday, June 18. This represented a drop of 6.52% from its former, more stately perch. Not to be left behind, options traders have started eyeing the abyss with gusto; Deribit’s put-to-call volume ratio soared to 2.17, which is the City way of saying “everyone’s got the wind up.” In plain English: more traders are buying put options, nervously hedging their bets and hoping for the best while expecting the worst.

In a grand gesture of transparency, these two exchanges release their Proof-of-Reserve reports every month—*religiously*, no less. Truly, they set a *stellar* example for the others. Can we possibly call this dedication? Who knows. One might even go as far as to say they’re “good examples”… though it’s all rather odd, don’t you think?

The 3iQ XRP ETF (TSX: XRPQ) rolls out the red carpet at a charming 0% management fee for its inaugural six months. It’s like getting a free appetizer at the fanciest restaurant in town, only with investments. Perfect for registered accounts in Canada, and, if you play nice with local regulations, it opens doors for qualified investors from all over the globe.