According to those eagle-eyed sleuths over at SlowMist (top hats off, gentlemen), the “private key was compromised at creation”—which in plain English means the only thing colder than the wallet was our chap’s chances of seeing his crypto ever again. Funds disappeared with such gusto that even my Aunt Agatha’s pearls would envy their velocity.
While Bitcoin [BTC] has been attempting to stabilize after a tumultuous end to the previous week, Dogecoin has been left to fend for itself in the bearish wilderness. The price action remains bearish at press time, with the swing market structure firmly in the grips of the bears.
Such is the pitiful state of Dogecoin, which has once again spiraled into decline after fumbling its chance at greatness at the $0.1880 mark, just like those noble Bitcoin and Ethereum heroes. Now, the price languorously rests beneath $0.1800 and $0.1750.
Meanwhile, geopolitical tensions are rising like bread in an oven, with nations trading missiles in the Middle East as casually as one might exchange pleasantries. Inflation in the U.S. has slowed, but alas, it remains a far cry from the Federal Reserve’s lofty targets. Tariffs and economic uncertainty loom like dark clouds, prompting investors to scurry towards gold, that age-old refuge.
One might recall that last week, the consumer sentiment index, much like a long-suffering spouse, finally showed a glimmer of hope, marking its first improvement in six months. Cooler-than-expected consumer and producer inflation reports (CPI and PPI) only added to the merriment, much like a well-timed joke at a dinner party. 🎉📊
A constitutional showdown over the privacy rights of cryptocurrency users could reshape how digital financial data is protected under the Fourth Amendment. On June 13, the New Civil Liberties Alliance (NCLA) and Supreme Court litigator Kannon Shanmugam filed a reply brief with the U.S. Supreme Court in Harper v. Faulkender, challenging the federal government’s use of the “third-party doctrine” to justify warrantless seizures of crypto-related financial records. The case centers on James Harper, a Coinbase customer whose data was swept up in an Internal Revenue Service (IRS) probe. According to the brief:
Metaplanet continues to actively purchase Bitcoin as part of their ongoing Bitcoin Treasury operations. Their last purchase of 1,088 BTC for $117.3 million was made on June 2.
Now, the clever blighters have made a distinction between virtual assets and crypto assets, and, by Jove, they’re not calling them securities or digital currencies or any of that rot. No, no, no! They’re giving them their own special category, and that’s just spiffing! 🤓
Meanwhile, the EMA lines are suggesting a cozy little consolidation, with PI precariously perched just above a critical support level at $0.601. Will it break down like a cheap car or rebound like a bouncy ball? Only time will tell, but it’s going to be a nail-biter! 🥴
As we pen this observation, ETH is observed languishing in a state of complete stillness, reflecting a daily change of precisely 0.00%. How riveting! 🎈
