Crypto news

In a statement dripping with corporate jargon, the Singapore-based company announced its plan to “gradually” exchange its SOL and SUI holdings. Why? To “take advantage of market volatility,” of course. Because nothing says “stability” like riding the rollercoaster of crypto prices while humming a cheerful tune. 🎢 CEO Wilson Wang described this as a “disciplined accumulation process,” which sounds far more dignified than “we’re gambling everything on a blockchain trend.” Bravo, sir. Bravo. 👏

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The deal, dear reader, values CoinShares at a delectable $1.2 billion before any sweet new investments are poured in. And, just to keep things interesting, shareholders are in for a juicy 30% bonus-because, let’s face it, who doesn’t love a little extra cash in their pockets?

Upbit(@Official_Upbit) Will Launch Their Own L2 Chain! 🥳

Inmortal’s analysis, as cryptic as it is insightful, shows Chainlink approaching a support range of critical importance. The chart, almost art in its own right, illustrates a grand scene where the price plunges into this zone only to rebound with the force of a dancer recovering from a misstep. This, dear reader, would mark the end of a temporary pullback, and the dawn of a promising new upswing.

Carl Moon, a fella who named himself after the moon and trots out his thoughts on Twitter, says Shiba’s price has been tracing a shape on the daily chart he calls a horizontal triangle. “Like a herd ready to stampede,” he mutters, pointing towards that tightening momentum that could finally break loose and send prices shooting like rabbits through the underbrush.

MYX Finance [MYX] has managed to clear the $2.5 resistance level within a day, after a rather leisurely consolidation under the $1.3 level since late August. Imagine a tortoise suddenly turning into a hare! 🐇

On September 8th, amidst the clamor of daily news cycles, the Office of the Attorney General for the District of Columbia dropped a bombshell: they had filed suit against Athena Bitcoin, one of the nation’s largest operators of crypto ATMs. Imagine, if you will, these machines standing innocuously in public spaces-silent witnesses to humanity’s folly-while secretly funneling life savings into the abyss of irreversible digital theft. 🔧💻

As of a groggy Monday morning, Bitcoin had crept up a grand total of 0.56% in 24 hours, landing at $111,800. It’s like a snail doing the moonwalk. This rise came in the aftermath of August’s job report showing a paltry 22,000 jobs added, a far cry from the anticipated 75,000. Imagine ordering a feast and getting just a solitary canapé.

On a day undoubtedly chosen for maximum numerological and astrological impact (September 8), MegaETH announced its clandestine romance with Ethena: together, they midwife USDm, a stablecoin so native, it practically wears a feathered war bonnet. Designed to bankroll sequencer operations, USDm scoffs at the concept of transaction markups-you want fees? Pay them somewhere else.