Elsewhere, M^0 (not to be confused with some elusive math theorem) snagged $40 million for its decentralized middleware protocol, as if to whisper, “Middleware is the new black.” OrangeX, ever the global crypto trading dandy, waltzed away with $20 million to grease its wheels in the chaotic bazaar of tokens.
Late July, a dismal time. The platform’s revenue slumped, enfeebled, gasping for fiscal air-the lowest since the gloomy dawn of 2024. Yet, Pump.fun (whose name mocks us all), by some devilish arithmetic, produced more than $775 million in fees. Was this a miracle, or merely a testament to the credulity and despair of the masses? Buybacks now steady the ship-sentiment stabilizes, and PUMP, inexplicably, scrambles upward 12% in a month, recovering more than half its August losses. The crowd cheers, oblivious; a brief delirium, perhaps before the doom.
The intraday candlestick-long of wick, short of mercy-carries all the hallmarks of a minor riot in the parlour: buyers, those frantic enthusiasts in ill-fitting suits, propelled SHIB much higher. Not to be outdone, sellers swanned in at the last, tossing confetti in the form of rapidly descending prices. The party, it seems, ended in tears (and margin calls).
According to Messari’s State of XRP Ledger Q2 2025 Report, the XRP Ledger concluded the second quarter of 2025 with a record $131.6 million market cap in real-world assets (RWA). It is the highest number ever recorded on XRPL in this sector. Messari attributes this growth to a wave of new issuances, first announced at the XRPL Apex event in Singapore in June 2025, which drew global attention. 🌍
These amendments, dispatched on August 29, betray an industrious race not unlike the Bolsheviks’ scramble to match the productivity of Western giants-a sincere effort to tread the path blazed by Bitcoin and Ethereum’s well-established ETFs.
A whale deposited $11.68 million USDC into HyperLiquid, accumulating 28,390 Solana [SOL] through a TWAP order that was still active at capture time. 🐋💎
The latest sell-off, that most refined of financial melodramas, owes itself to three splendidly unfortunate villains:
Despite this little dip, Ethereum’s still the golden child of the market. New data from Glassnode says no altcoin has outperformed ETH in a month. DeFi and Layer 2 tried to flex, but even they’re just the backup dancers at this point. This resilience? It’s like Ethereum’s saying, “Yeah, the whole market’s tanking, but I’m still the MVP.” It’s the blockchain version of wearing a cape to work on a Monday.
This isn’t the first time this year that President Trump’s name has been caught up in an absolutely bizarre tale. Earlier, there was that little “Trump’s Bitcoin Whitepaper Reveal” debacle that sent the crypto world into a tizzy-turns out, that was as fake as the rest of the rumors.
While most of us are huddling in fear, clutching our wallets as if they were our last lifeline, this trader sees an opportunity. A golden one. “Buy the dip!” he cries, almost as if he’s a prophet speaking to us mere mortals. He insists this isn’t a harbinger of doom, but rather the ideal moment to scoop up some more of that precious, digital gold.