Crypto news

“Look, I’ve always said Bitcoin was going to end up being something like electronic gold. It’s a store of value. It promises no return. It’s just… you buy it and hold it for some appreciation. That’s exactly what you do. It’s commodities like gold. That’s it. There’s nothing wrong with it. It has a positive price. It doesn’t have any fundamental value. I don’t think gold has really any fundamental value either,” Waller said, as if he’s explaining quantum physics to a toddler. 🧠👶

What followed was a resurrection worthy of a Soviet-era parable: ENA leapt 200% from its lows, as if the market had collectively remembered how to breathe. Accumulation? Yes, but not the kind that feeds hope-this was the cold calculus of wolves in suits, snatching up scraps like a feast at a gulag. Now, at $0.46, the token clings to a short-term trendline like a drowning man to a rusted railing. 🛑📈

Price action remains below the value area low and high-timeframe resistance. It’s like a ghost town, but with dollars. 🏚️

Meanwhile, Arthur Hayes, that sartorially splendid oracle of crypto, has declared Japan’s stimulus a prelude to “fiat money printing,” which, he insists, will see Bitcoin rocket to $1 million. “Translation: Let’s print money to hand out to folks,” he quipped on X, as if orchestrating a grand financial waltz. 🎩🚀

O wretched GPT-5, whose returns plummeted with the grace of a falling apple! A loss of 64.22%, a total of $6,367 lost, a tale of despair. 🚩📉 The leaderboard, a stage of chaos, reveals that even the most advanced models are but jesters in the court of finance. 🎭

According to a Bloomberg report (yes, the same folks who make financial news sound like a soap opera), this service lets both companies shuffle US dollars, British pounds, and euros across borders faster than a politician dodging a tough question. Traditional banks? Oh, they’re still stuck in the “weekdays only” mindset, taking their sweet time to process payments while the rest of us have moved on to blockchain’s 24/7 party. 🎉

XRP’s price is currently on a downward spiral, dropping 0.97% in 24 hours and 5.4% this week. It’s like watching a toddler’s temper tantrum, but with fewer snacks. 🍫

Marked with a flourish on October 17, this ‘ChinaAMC Solana ETF (03460)’ is set to premiere on October 27, waltzing onto the Hong Kong Stock Exchange. And hold your lorgnettes-this makes Solana the third coin in the region to achieve spot ETF stardom, following Bitcoin and Ethereum-an aristocratic trio, if you will.

Asia’s three major stock exchanges are actively tightening scrutiny of certain listings. Now the Executive Order specifically addresses crypto asset treasury (DAT) companies. These companies are looking for traditional corporate organization, according to Bloomberg. This opposition directly challenges a major corporate crypto model worldwide. As a result, the market is now closely following regulatory responses throughout the region. 🤷‍♂️