According to some Reuters poll, the Fed’s gonna cut rates twice before the year’s over. Because why not? 🎲 First cut next week, another in December. Groundbreaking stuff. 115 out of 117 economists agree-like that’s supposed to mean something. The other two? Probably just wanted to stand out. “Oh, I’ll say 50 bps in December!” Sure, buddy. 😏
Here’s the twist: a government-approved charity said “no thanks” to a donation worth-wait for it-$33 million. Yes, that soaring figure from a humble 2018 crypto gift, which now makes the initial $200,000 look like pocket change for a billionaire with a sense of humor. 🎢📈
Economists, those modern-day soothsayers, prophesy a 2.3% annual CPI surge in September, a slight rebellion against the BoC’s 2% target. August’s 1.9% gain, meanwhile, now seems quaint. Monthly prices? A mere 0.1% dip, a yawn compared to the previous month’s nap. One might call it a “pause for tea,” if not for the looming shadow of US tariffs, which threaten to turn this tea party into a fiscal circus. 🤡
According to the sagacious Glassnode’s cost basis distribution heatmap, the sum of $16 hath emerged as a point of considerable interest, where a staggering 54.47 million LINK tokens have been gathered with the utmost diligence. This zone, my dear reader, now stands as a bulwark of support, a foundation upon which the price may ascend with grace and alacrity in the sessions to come. 🏰💎
These giggly digital trinkets are the glittering, chaotic circus of crypto, riding the bull-market rollercoaster like a pack of caffeinated squirrels. And lo! Even JPMorgan’s top hats have joined the clown car, cheering on this madness. 🎪🎩
Now, on October 10, there was a bit of a… how do we put it? A ‘liquidation frenzy,’ where around $20 billion of open interest evaporated faster than your motivation on a Monday morning. The market’s total open interest-once frolicking around $78 billion-tumbled to $58 billion, like an over-inflated balloon that finally popped. It was almost like the FTX crash, but without the same amount of screaming. Still, according to Moreno, the dollar magnitude tells us one thing: it was a symptom of today’s massive derivatives base, not a sign of an apocalypse.
This caper kicks off right after Ripple’s big courtroom victory, where the US Securities and Exchange Commission-these regulators are like trolls guarding bridges, all frowns and fees-wrapped up a lawsuit accusing the firm of flogging unregistered securities to fat cats. Sarcasm aside, under the current lot in charge, it’s all smiles and blockchain hugs now, even dropping cases against other crypto merrymakers. Who knew bureaucracy could do a pirouette? 🕺
Behold the saga of Bitcoin and Ethereum ETF-crucibles of modern greed-whose losses sing a mournful dirge beneath the weight of mounting uncertainty. Monday’s lament revealed $40.47 million vanishing into the abyss, the fourth such day of suffering. BlackRock’s IBIT, the behemoth drifted into oblivion, shedding a staggering $100.65 million; oh, how the mighty fall! Meanwhile, Fidelity’s FBTC and Bitwise’s BITB brave the storm, claiming modest respite with inflows of $9.67 million and $12.05 million-perhaps a jest from fate itself, mocking the illusion of stability.
On a fateful Monday that would surely echo through the annals of time, the House of Doge, huddled with their partners at Brag House Holdings, Inc., proclaimed itself the “largest equity holder” in the historic yet hapless US Triestina Calcio 1918. This move is part of their lofty mission – to find projects that “carry community, cultural relevance, and long-term value.” Sounds great, doesn’t it? Like a soap on a rope! 📈
