Crypto news

This week, the crypto world was shaken after news broke that a single Bitcoin whale rotated more than $4 billion worth of BTC into Ethereum. Because nothing says “I’m confident in my investment” like dumping a fortune into a different cryptocurrency just to see if it sticks. This unprecedented move, which saw the large-scale holder sell off a significant BTC position for ETH, has fueled speculation that Ethereum could be gearing up for a major price rally. Rekt Fencer, a self-proclaimed oracle of crypto prophecy, has already penned a press release announcing ETH’s inevitable leap to $15,000. Let’s just say I’d trust their crystal ball about as far as I’d trust a toaster with a stock portfolio.

At this very moment, Stellar (XLM) finds itself shivering at $0.36, with a generous trading volume of $288 million. The token, as lively as a somnolent cat, remains pallid over the day but has suffered a grievous 7% decline over the week.

Технические аналитики в шоке, индикаторы шепчут о продолжении драйва – ну или так они их воспринимают, когда рынок в полном безумии! 🚀

Before you get your hopes too high, no, this isn’t their first rodeo. No, they’ve already flashed their digital bits on Solana, BNB Chain, and Tron. Because when in doubt, spread the chaos! Behind the curtain is Backed Finance, a real-world asset (RWA) tokenization wizard. They’ve been cozying up with crypto giants like Kraken and Bybit-probably exchanging virtual high-fives and promises of world domination.

So here’s the deal: Crypto exchange Kraken and some Swiss company named Backed decided Tuesday to sprinkle their xStocks portfolio onto Ethereum’s network. The idea? Mix stocks into the DeFi stew and see what bubbles up. Spoiler: probably confusion.

Dans ce grand spectacle mensuel, le Chairman Tom Lee, notre mage suprême, a encore une fois daigné nous gratifier de sa présence dans “Le Message du Président”. Comme toujours, ses paroles sont empreintes d’une telle profondeur qu’on pourrait presque y voir le fond… de la mer!

This corporate titan now boasts the second-largest stash of Ether in all the world, trailing only behind the monstrous BitMine Immersion’s 1.7 million ETH. Oh, the irony! Companies hoarding more digital ether than some countries have in their treasuries. SharpLink’s strategy? Convert every dollar they raise into Ether-because what’s lower than money? Digital bits and dreams! They’ve turned their SBET stock into a crypto mirror, reflecting the splendid future of decentralized chaos. A jolly game of “let’s pretend we understand this,” but don’t worry, your shares are just as backed by ETH as a politician’s promise!

Bitcoin treasury whizzes, formerly known as MicroStrategy (because “Strategy” sounds cooler, right?), dropped a bomb on the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission’s inbox. According to their fancy filing, they snagged 4,048 bitcoins between Aug. 26 and Sept. 1 – at a bargain basement average price of $110,981 each. They financed this little shopping spree by printing money in the form of Class A common stock and perpetual preferred shares. Basically, “Hey shareholders, we got this… maybe.”

Remember when Japan hit a bit of a rough patch economically? 😬 Metaplanet did, and instead of crying into their sake, they started dabbling in Bitcoin like it’s the perfect rebound. Fast forward to now, and they’re practically obsessed (& who can blame them?). The entire ¥555 billion fund, raised by selling preferred shares (because straight-up cash is too mainstream), is their golden ticket to buy even more of the flagship cryptocurrency.

In a bold move that suggests someone at Strategy has access to magical spreadsheets, the company snapped up 4,048 Bitcoin (BTC) for a wallet-busting $449.3 million between Aug. 25 and Sept. 1, as revealed in a US Securities and Exchange Commission filing (which, for some reason, never includes footnotes about orangutans). 🦧