Crypto news

The Midnight redemption debacle, he insisted, was but a “necessary restraint,” as the terms of the airdrop warned against “undue burden and harm to the network.” One wonders, however, if the CF’s absence from such warnings was due to oversight or an unfortunate lack of foresight. “The Swiss government,” he alleged, “stole the ADA,” a claim as scandalous as a lady’s missing heirloom. Yet, he mused, “Let another more industrious soul claim the NIGHT,” as if bestowing a less-than-lustrous inheritance.

One might say, dear reader, that Mr. Pal’s opinion is not singular, for it doth echo through the hallowed halls of the cryptocurrency sector with the predictability of a matchmaking mama in a London ballroom. Indeed, many a learned analyst-including Chris Burniske, co-founder of New York’s own Placeholder-have seen fit to pledge their fortunes (and likely their reputations) upon ETH’s inevitable triumph.

Everyone’s eyes were on DOGE after a massive 900 million token transfer (worth over $200 million) was spotted heading to Binance wallets. This move sparked fears of short-term sell-offs just as the token’s rally toward $0.25 hit a wall. However, on-chain data revealed that whales had been accumulating over 680 million DOGE in August, suggesting that these deep-pocketed investors are still betting on long-term gains, even as the near-term technicals look a bit shaky.

Litecoin [LTC], the old workhorse, stumbled beneath its once-revered trendline. After weeks of clinging to an ascending lifeline like a drunkard to a lamppost, LTC finally gave in, slipping under it on the daily chart. A sad, quiet collapse.

Ah, Bitcoin! It treads once more the treacherous path of its own past, falling back from dizzying heights of $117,440 to a more modest $112,000, like a tragic hero caught in the grips of his own hubris. It’s as if Powell’s dovish whispers stirred a storm, reminding all that the market’s only certainty is its unpredictability – or perhaps its tragic flaw. 🌀

Apparently, some frightfully large investors – we call them ‘whales,’ how utterly charming – have decided their portfolios require a slight…adjustment. They’ve been offloading Bitcoin with a distinct lack of enthusiasm, triggering a rather precipitous cascade of panic. Honestly, the drama! 🎭 Trading volume, naturally, has gone absolutely berserk – up 41% to a frankly alarming $73.46 billion. One shudders to think.

As of the latest numbers, Hyperliquid (HYPE) has made an almost respectable gain of 4% over the last 24 hours, now hovering around $45.64. Though it briefly flirted with the $47 mark earlier in the day, clearly having its moment of fame before reality set in. 📉

The BTC pullback persists, as if it were caught in a game of tug-of-war between weakening demand and profit-taking. Spot Exchange Traded Funds (ETFs) have hemorrhaged over $1.15 billion, leaving Bitcoin enthusiasts clutching their wallets in despair. 💸

They’ve even named it the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve Act. Sounds fancy, right? Congressman Miguel Luis Villafuerte is the mastermind behind this. He’s out there saying Bitcoin is a “strategic asset.” I mean, sure, if you consider a volatile digital currency a “strategy.” What’s next? A strategic collection of Beanie Babies? 🧸

Starting in Japan, of course, because why expand globally when you can just pretend you’re already there? 🏦 The focus? Tokenized real-world assets, stablecoins, and investment funds-because who doesn’t want their money to sparkle like a disco ball? 🕺 By using Chainlink’s “blockchain infrastructure,” SBI is basically saying, “We’re not just a bank; we’re a tech startup with a fancy suit.” 🧢