Crypto news

On Tuesday last, the crypto market presented a most dramatic display of volatility, with bitcoin ascending to $68,300 shortly after midnight UTC, only to descend with equal haste to $66,500. The initial surge, I am told, was prompted by reports of Mr. Trump’s willingness to end the war in Iran, sans the opening of the Strait of Hormuz. Alas, such optimism was short-lived, as Israeli officials declared their readiness to persist in their endeavors for weeks to come.

Tom Lee’s Bitmine, a name now synonymous with Ethereum gluttony, has been on a buying spree that would make a Black Friday shopper blush. Their latest acquisition brings their total ETH holdings to a mind-boggling 4.73 million, a chunk so large it represents nearly 3.92% of all Ethereum in existence. That’s enough to make even the most seasoned crypto whale feel like a minnow.

On 31 March, the US District Court for the Southern District of New York etched its decree against Peken Global Limited-the wily operator of KuCoin-finalizing a saga that had more twists than a Dostoevskian plot. The court permanently forbids Peken Global from allowing US customers access, unless they first bow before the altar of CFTC registration.

Ah, VDOR. That deliciously obscure memecoin that has set Solana’s blockchain aflame, surging more than 130% in the past week. A mere seven days ago, it languished at a humble $0.0067. By March 31, 2026, it had danced up to $0.0169, proving once again that cryptocurrency is nothing if not a surreal carnival ride. And let’s not even talk about the sheer volume of people who probably just Googled “oil-backed crypto” for the first time last week.

GugaOnChain, that modern-day oracle, has cast its gaze upon the chaos and declared: the Strait of Hormuz is a noose tightening around the neck of global oil, Brent crude has climbed past $100 like a thief in the night, and 30% of the world’s black gold is now a hostage to fortune. The last time the energy gods sneezed, the financial markets caught pneumonia. But Bitcoin, ah, Bitcoin is no mere mortal asset. It laughs at blockades, spits in the face of embargoes, and dances on the grave of geographical constraints. A distributed network, they call it-a phoenix rising from the ashes of politicized logistics.

The project has moved away from its old system of releasing tokens. Previously, around 78.4 million ASTER tokens were released into circulation each month following a predictable, steady schedule.

codifying the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve. How very civilized.

Brent crude, that fickle friend, has surged nearly fifty percent since the twilight of February, propelled not by a renaissance in demand but rather by ominous portents regarding the Strait of Hormuz-a vital artery for global energy flow, now under the watchful eye of fate.

In a plot twist befitting a farcical comedy, a 62-year-old woman from Pune has unwittingly become ₹69 lakh poorer due to a “digital arrest” scam. The perpetrators, masquerading as officials from the Telecom Regulatory Authority of India (TRAI) and the Crime Branch, coerced her into transferring her life’s savings over what felt like an eternity of panic.

Alas, the Bitcoin, having tasted the bitter dregs of $65,000, hath rallied with the fervor of a misunderstood hero. From the depths of $65,000, it sprang forth, breaching the $66,000 barrier with a defiance that would make Don Quixote blush.