Mark my words, dear reader, Coinbase’s gonna fling open the gates for Aster (ASTER) spot trading on November 20, 2025. Why? Because the world’s either mad or just discovered crypto. The ASTER-USD pair’ll debut on Thursday, but only if the liquidity gods smile kindly. Aster’s a “next-gen” decentralized exchange-spot and perpetual trading rolled into one, like a circus with two rings and no elephants. 🐎
The latest dispatches from the frontlines of Brave New Coin reveal AVAX loitering around $14, a figure as pitiful as a gulag prisoner’s ration. Yet, this is no ordinary pit-it is the same deep-value zone where past market cycles, like forgotten revolutions, quietly reset before erupting into major rallies. The price bleeds slowly, a multi-month downtrend that mirrors the inexorable march of history. But here, at the edge of exhaustion, sellers may find their resolve tested. 🩸📉
Though this is Kraken’s first grand bow toward an IPO, the company remains as silent as a monk in a monastery-nary a tweet, nary a press release. Last week, co-CEO Arjun Sethi declared, “We are not in a rush!” as if the stock market were a Sunday stroll in Versailles. 🐢👑 Rumors of an IPO since 2024? Merely whispers in the court of crypto, until this latest filing-voilà!-dons the crown of concrete action. 🤡👑
As our trusty crypto whisperer, Vibhu, pointed out, Solana’s ETF has been the belle of the ball, with investors lining up like it’s a Black Friday sale at a gadget store. Between November 3 and 19, 2025 (yes, the future is now, folks), Bitwise raked in a cool $424.0 million in inflows. That’s more cash than most of us will see in a lifetime, unless you’re Elon Musk’s couch cushions. 🛋️💵
For the majority of November, SHIB has continued to produce lower highs and lower lows, a most discouraging pattern. However, the recent candles suggest a marked slowdown. The selling pressure, once relentless, now lacks its former vigor, with each drop becoming less severe and the wicks growing ever tighter. A most telling sign, one might say, that the trend is losing its steam. 📉
Now, each month, Hacken will swoop in, do its thing, and publish a report. MEXC won’t even get a sneak peek before it goes live. Transparency, people! Starting in late November, Hacken will compare MEXC’s reserves with user balances across major assets. Finally, a little truth in the wild west of crypto exchanges!
Ah, Bitcoin-the tortured soul of the crypto world. While $BTC trudges onward, its ETF flows dominating headlines like a melodramatic protagonist, the real drama unfolds in the shadows: infrastructure. Capital, once enamored with meme coins, now seeks substance-base layers, rollups, execution environments. Why? Because Bitcoin, for all its grandeur, settles a paltry seven transactions per second. Fees spike like a fever in a Dostoevsky fever dream. DeFi? It’s all on Ethereum rollups or alternative Layer-1s. Bitcoin itself? A bystander at its own party. 🎉
This financial fiesta, powered by Noah and backed by the dynamic trio Eldorado, Alfredpay, and Paytrie, turns stablecoins into pesos and reais quicker than Mel Brooks can say “It’s good to be the king!” 🥳 Whether you’re a traveler or a local, your transactions will settle faster than a slapstick comedy gag.
Lo, the specter of quantum computing doth loom, threatening to unravel our cryptographic tapestry like a poorly knit sock! 🧦💥
With the data blackout more prolonged than my binge-watching sessions, policymakers might as well be chugging coffee and squinting through crystal balls to make a call. On Wednesday, with the drama continuing, the Labor Department announced it wouldn’t release the jobs data for October due to the record-breaking government shutdown. Because nothing screams “decisiveness” like uncertainty! ☕
