Crypto Chaos: A Delicious Mess!

Bitcoin, that grande dame of cryptocurrencies, has fallen below its 30-day moving average. Oh dear, short-term caution is advised, traders! But fear not, for long-term sentiment remains buoyed by those dashing institutional inflows and a rise in treasury allocations. It’s all very grown-up, really. 💼

Argentina: Cardano’s New Crypto Paradise, Says Hoskinson

Hoskinson stated, “Argentina is likely going to be the first country of the modern era to have private money over central banks.” He added that nearly $100 billion of Argentina’s $700 billion GDP is now in crypto, crediting much of this transformation to President Javier Milei. Hoskinson even called Milei “the prince that’s promised,” a notable departure from his far more critical remarks on other national leaders like El Salvador’s Nayib Bukele.

Bitcoin’s Sudden $1.3 Billion Rebound 🤑

For two consecutive weeks, the tides of fortune had flowed away from this esteemed cryptocurrency, leaving many to wonder if its star had finally begun to wane. But alas, dear reader, the market, much like a lady’s heart, is a fickle thing, and sentiments can shift with the wind. And so, as the week drew to a close, a most welcome resurgence was observed, with strong capital flows returning to BTC ETFs, like a suitor returning to his beloved.

This Guy’s $7M Vanished After He Bought a Bargain Crypto Wallet. Oops!

According to those eagle-eyed sleuths over at SlowMist (top hats off, gentlemen), the “private key was compromised at creation”—which in plain English means the only thing colder than the wallet was our chap’s chances of seeing his crypto ever again. Funds disappeared with such gusto that even my Aunt Agatha’s pearls would envy their velocity.

Bitcoin’s Resilience: Investors Laughing in the Face of Global Chaos! 😂💰

Meanwhile, geopolitical tensions are rising like bread in an oven, with nations trading missiles in the Middle East as casually as one might exchange pleasantries. Inflation in the U.S. has slowed, but alas, it remains a far cry from the Federal Reserve’s lofty targets. Tariffs and economic uncertainty loom like dark clouds, prompting investors to scurry towards gold, that age-old refuge.

Waugh’s Witty Take on the Crypto Chaos and More

One might recall that last week, the consumer sentiment index, much like a long-suffering spouse, finally showed a glimmer of hope, marking its first improvement in six months. Cooler-than-expected consumer and producer inflation reports (CPI and PPI) only added to the merriment, much like a well-timed joke at a dinner party. 🎉📊

IRS Snags 14,000 Crypto Users: Will the Supreme Court Save the Day? 🕵️‍♂️💰

A constitutional showdown over the privacy rights of cryptocurrency users could reshape how digital financial data is protected under the Fourth Amendment. On June 13, the New Civil Liberties Alliance (NCLA) and Supreme Court litigator Kannon Shanmugam filed a reply brief with the U.S. Supreme Court in Harper v. Faulkender, challenging the federal government’s use of the “third-party doctrine” to justify warrantless seizures of crypto-related financial records. The case centers on James Harper, a Coinbase customer whose data was swept up in an Internal Revenue Service (IRS) probe. According to the brief: