Crypto news

They’ve been collecting Bitcoins like my Uncle George collects stray dogs-fast, compulsively, and sometimes with even less explanation. August alone saw Metaplanet gobbling up 463 BTC for one sum, 518 BTC for another, and then a glorious 775 BTC feast, all in deals so high-profile they must have made their accountants weep and cheer at the same time. The latest feeding frenzy pushed their hoard well past the previously confessed pile of 18,888 BTC. Who’s counting? Well, apparently they are, and the number keeps swelling like a river after spring rains.

World Liberty Financial (or should we say, World Liberty Financial Circus 🎪) spilled the beans on how the 24.67 billion circulating tokens are divvied up. Here’s the breakdown, folks-it’s a real hoot:

GemXBT, that paragon of financial wisdom, has observed that Polygon has been ascending with the vigor of a caffeinated hedgehog. Yet, alas, the price now teeters at the infamous $0.28, a barrier as stubborn as a toddler with a sweet tooth. Below, a support level of $0.26 waits, like a kindly uncle offering a handkerchief to the weary.

Lo, AMM liquidity pools have become the darling of the crypto court, as XRP and RLUSD holders seeketh newer, more cunning ways to wield their digital treasures. A curious soul on the X social media platform did inquire about the workings of these pools, prompting Schwartz to descend from his ivory tower and elucidate the mechanics and benefits for the uninitiated. 🧐📜

Behold, the land of Gaza, once fertile with hope, now reduced to a ledger entry on a blockchain, its people mere digits in a system that promises salvation through digital tokens. What a noble endeavor, to turn the cradle of civilization into a playground for investors!

On August 31, a notably optimistic crypto analyst named KrissPax took to social media with a chart that looked suspiciously like stock market spaghetti. He predicts Dogecoin might climb to the mystical 2.618 Fibonacci level – a fancy way of saying “roughly in the neighborhood of $1.82” – propelled by historical patterns and perhaps a dash of numerical magic. That’s an eye-watering 800% gain from its current modest stake of around $0.218. Truly, a miraculous ascent worthy of a fairy tale – or at least a very expensive meme.

He went on, all grim and professorial, about how if people suddenly realize their stablecoins aren’t as stable as a toddler on a sugar rush, we’ll have mass panic, bank runs, and probably a government bailout. Because nothing says “confidence” like taxpayers picking up the tab for crypto’s latest party trick. 🤡

The Ripple (XRP) token plummeted to $2.7345, its lowest point since July 11 and a whopping 25% below its highest peak this year. Its market cap? Down to $164 billion from a year-to-date high of $201 billion. Oof, that’s a punch to the gut. 💥

Meanwhile, the ever-optimistic Crypto Candy has emphasized the lower-timeframe setup, forecasting a 20% to 30% upside if the asset can muster the courage to clear key barriers near $25.29 and $27.91. Both analysts, like wise soothsayers, see the current consolidation as a mere prelude to a grander movement, aligning with the broader market’s bullish sentiment. After all, why settle for a waltz when a tango looms on the horizon?

Optimism itself, which sounds like it should be shouting from rooftops, is instead pacing nervously between $0.67 and $0.78, as if uncertain whether it really wants to leave its comfort zone or not. Investors? Oh, they’re twiddling their thumbs, hoping the cosmic market gods will send a clearer memo before they do something reckless.