Prepare yourself, dear reader, for the US Dollar (USD) to dance a wild jig of volatility. Why? Because this report might just tell us whether the Fed will play Santa or Grinch with interest rates in the new year. đ
Why does the brave Vitalik back a somewhat embattled Storm as he awaits sentencing for an alleged “unlicensed money transmitting business”? He sees these privacy tools as shields, not weapons! đĄď¸ His take is that developers must not suffer for the questionable uses others might find.
Enter Raoul Pal, the macro guru with a theory thatâs basically, “Chill, the bull marketâs just fashionably late.” đśď¸ According to Nathan Sloanâs breakdown, Palâs like, “Cryptoâs 4-year cycle? More like 5-year cycle now. Peakâs in 2026, folks. Spoiler alert: No crypto winter, just a delayed mega-boom.” đâ¨
Now, this shiny wallet is flaunting over 98.3 million RLUSD, which has sent the XRP community into a delightful tizzy, akin to a cat seeing a laser pointer for the first time. Everyoneâs furiously speculating on what the big players might be cooking up, probably something more enticing than yesterdayâs leftovers.
Things Worth Notin’ (if you got a minute)
Bybit has released its 2026 crypto outlook, outlining the key forces likely to influence digital asset markets over the coming year. The report centers on bitcoin and the broader crypto market, drawing on derivatives data, options-implied probabilities, volatility trends, and cross-asset correlations. It also considers macroeconomic conditions, regulatory developments, and institutional adoption to assess how market behavior may evolve through 2026. đđ¸
Well, by thunder! The Almighty Donny Trump, him who plays chess with the devil and calls it a pickup game, has thrown down the gauntlet regarding Sam Bankman-Friedâs pardon. According to The New York Times (yes, that old nemesis of truth and coffee), our illustrious leader confirmed this during an interview on January 9, 2026-sounds like he picked the date to make historyâs calendar scream âLegacy?â Please. He also praised his pro-crypto stance, claiming it fetched him votes. âItâs not my fault folks like crypto more than they like my golf courses,â he probably muttered while squinting at the camera. đ¤Ą
This Dogecoin, it seems, has had a rather spirited start to the year, jumpinâ around like a flea in a carpet factory – a 21% increase from a measly $0.117. They say it hit a high of $0.156. High for a memecoin, perhaps, but Iâve seen higher hills in Missouri. It had reportedly been lookinâ peaked, lost half its value from way back when, before suddenly perkâin up. This fella, Trader Tardigrade-a right mouthful of a name, that-points to some âTweezer candlesticks.â Now, I ainât no expert in readinâ candles, but it sounds like some sort of fortune tellin’ with wax. Seems they thinks itâs a sign of a bit of a rebound.
In a missive dispatched via the digital ether (or “X post,” as the plebeians call it), Bird opined that XRPâs price is destined for its most spectacular ascent yet, predicated on Bitcoinâs waning supremacy. He noted, with the gravity of a man announcing the end of the world, that BTC.Dâs precipitous drops in 2018, 2021, and 2024 coincided with XRPâs parabolic flights of fancy. The 2018 rally, in particular, saw XRP soar to its previous all-time high, a feat as fleeting as a summer romance in a Waugh novel. đď¸đ¸
Lo! On-chain data from CryptoQuant reveals a staggering 2,692,600,000 XRP cowering in Binanceâs vaults, as if hiding from a bear marketâs slapstick routine. đŚ Mon Dieu! Is this a treasure trove or a prelude to disaster?
