Behold, the institution of banking, that ancient titan, now stretching its tentacles into the digital abyss, where transactions zip about like overcaffeinated squirrels. 24/7, a phrase that evokes the eternal vigilance of a sleepless clockwork, yet somehow, the bankers manage to keep their eyes open. ⏳
Speaking to the Financial Times, Sethi spilled the beans: the UK’s regulatory overreach is so severe, users are locked out of 75% of crypto products. DeFi staking and lending? Gone. Like a magician’s trick, but without the magic. 🪄🚫
Bitcoin (BTC), the grand poobah of cryptocurrencies, took a nosedive to an intraday low of $102,461 on Wednesday, Nov. 12. That’s nearly 5% off its Tuesday high of over $107K. This dramatic plunge was a gracious retreat from the rally sparked by U.S. President Donald Trump’s “tariff dividend” remarks, which-surprise, surprise-failed to hold any lasting promise. At the time of writing, BTC had recovered slightly, but still showed a 2% loss over the past 24 hours. Truly inspiring stuff.
The source of this sudden decline in holiday spirit lies deep within the coin’s ecosystem, where whales and holders – those once-dedicated architects of Dogecoin’s meteoric rises – are now quietly slipping away, possibly in search of more promising digital waters. Even the most die-hard HODLers are losing their faith. The meme coin’s once-unbreakable Q4 streak seems to be slipping faster than a greased pig at a country fair.
This UNI token, it shivered and shook itself, climbing 28% in a single day. REACHING for a peak it hasn’t seen before – $8.42. All because some bright spark decided to tinker with the gears and actually start charging a fee. Imagine that!
JPMorgan Chase, a name synonymous with prudent banking and, let’s be honest, rather a lot of money, has seen fit to launch JPM Coin (JPMD). One presumes they felt left out of all the digital shenanigans. It’s for their institutional clients, naturally. One wouldn’t want the hoi polloi getting their hands on it.
Bloomberg’s sage of ETFs, Eric Balchunas, proclaimed on Tuesday that Canary had submitted a Form 8A to the Securities and Exchange Commission the night prior. 📜 This, dear reader, is the bureaucratic equivalent of a trumpet blast announcing the commencement of the show. Balchunas, ever the optimist, suggests the launch could be imminent-“tomorrow or Thursday,” he says, with a wink and a nod. “Not a done deal,” he adds, with a shrug that speaks volumes, “but all boxes being checked. Stay tuned.” 🎭
Oh, the drama! XRP surged a delightful 12% in 24 hours on November 10, 2025, hitting a cheeky $2.55 on Binance. Dominus XRP Syndicate, ever the optimist, tweeted, “Next leg for $XRP has begun. Next target $14.” Cue the applause! 📈 This little rally was fueled by institutional whales scooping up a cool $550 million, because why not splash out on some digital assets? 🐳
On a chilly day, November the 11th, Tether proclaimed the acquisition of wisdom from two of HSBC’s keenest tradesmen. Behold, Vincent Domien, the metal-maneuvering maestro of HSBC, and his companion, Mathew O’Neill, the knight of precious metals in linguist-friendly locales. They venture forth to enlarge the coffers of gold, which presently contain $12 billion.
