Crypto news
Crypto.com & Sharps Tech: A $400M Solana Heist? 🚀
Sharps Technology Inc. (STSS), that paragon of corporate acumen, has entered into a strategic partnership with Crypto.com to manage its Solana treasury-a treasure trove of over 2 million SOL tokens, worth more than $200 million. Validated by a collaboration that aims to maximize yields, increase SOL-based liquidity, and drive blockchain institutional adoption, all while pretending it’s not just a fancy way to say “invest in crypto.”
BTC Titans Stir: 12-Year Nap Ends 💸🔥
Behold, this is no mere transaction, but a resurrection! A relic from the primordial Bitcoin era, when a coin was worth less than a loaf of bread and the term “crypto bro” had not yet sullied the lexicon. Such movements, they whisper, are not the acts of madmen but of strategists-those who plot in silence, hoarding their secrets like dragons in a cave. Or perhaps, as one analyst mused, they are simply bored. Bored and wealthy. Bored and wealthy enough to send your average Joe spiraling into existential dread. 😂
Crypto Frenzy: Uptober Sparks Leveraged Comeback!
Crypto markets are steadier after last week’s churn, with bitcoin back above $112,000 and ether around $4,100, a shade the same as seven days ago. QCP’s market insights remind us that spot markets moved sideways over the weekend, even as ETF outflows frame quarter-end positioning as the alleged maestro rather than a fundamental abyss.
Bitmine Boasts $11.6B Crypto Stash, but Let’s Be Real, Who’s Counting?
So, here’s the deal: As of Sept. 28 at 7 p.m. Eastern, Bitmine (NYSE: BMNR) reported they hold a casual 2,650,900 ethereum (ETH) valued at $4,141 per token (thanks, Bloomberg), 192 bitcoin, $436 million in cold, hard cash, and a cute $157 million equity stake in Eightco Holdings. Add it all up and voila, $11.6 billion. 🎉
Adrienne Harris Quits DFS as US-UK Crypto Rivalry Sparks Laughter 😄
“It has been a privilege and an honor to serve New Yorkers, delivering positive outcomes for consumers; cementing DFS as a global regulatory leader; and transforming the Department’s operations,” Harris noted. 🤹♂️ A modest string of sentences, perhaps, but with the right sort of sparkle to justify a round of claps and a cigarette‑paper bow.
Crypto Dreams Dashed? SEC’s Mysterious Move Explained 🎩🐍
Well, partner, it’s September 17, 2025-a date that’ll live in infamy or boredom, depending on your caffeine intake. The SEC just rubber-stamped generic listing standards for crypto ETPs. Why bother with 19b-4 forms now? It’s like bringing a typewriter to a digital press conference. Exchanges can now list crypto ETFs that meet these new standards. Uniformity, they call it. Boring, but efficient.
NYC Mayor’s Crypto Dream Crashes: Funding Fiasco or Media Mischief? 🚨
The controversial mayor of New York City, Eric Adams, who has a pro-crypto stance, has suddenly terminated his reelection bid. A man who once danced with Bitcoin now finds himself tripping over dollar bills, as if the very coins he championed have turned against him.
The Wall Street’s Princeton Mafia Behind Bitcoin and Ethereum Treasuries | US Crypto News
As you sip on that caffeinated goodness, just know that while the money’s flowing and the names are familiar, there are some sneaky warning signs creeping up behind the crypto party. And trust me, they might just crash the whole thing sooner than you think!