Ethereum: Wall Street’s New BFF? 🚀

For Joseph Chalom, Ethereum isn’t just another blockchain. It’s the infrastructure he believes Wall Street will eventually build on… if they ever stop binge-watching “The Office” and actually pay attention. 📺💸

TeraWulf Ditches Bitcoin for AI: A Tale of Hashes and Hysteria! 🤑🤖

On the fateful Tuesday of November 11, TeraWulf’s financials revealed a plot twist worthy of a Gogol novella: a deliberate pivot from mining to the high-margin allure of AI infrastructure. 📉💸 The firm’s Q3 report, a veritable tragedy in numbers, showed a mere 377 BTC mined-a far cry from the 438 expected by those ever-hopeful analysts. Was this underperformance a blunder? Nay! ’Twas a calculated act of defiance, as uptime plummeted to 70% and the hashrate slithered to 8.5 EH. The rigs, once humming with purpose, were silenced, their energy redirected to the glittering altars of HPC. Mining revenue? A paltry $7.2 million, though the firm doth boast of its maiden quarter’s earnings. 🕯️

Cardano’s $0.45 Plan: 2025’s Wild Prediction!

This support range was pierced during the October 11, 2025, crypto crash. Since then, ADA has been on a weekly downward spiral, like a sad TikTok trend. 📉 According to crypto analyst Ali Martinez, ADA price must hold its last line of defense around $0.51 to validate a rebound towards $0.7. Because nothing says “rebound” like a 51-cent lifeline. 💸

Hedera Nears Breakout as ETF Launch and SpaceX Mission Boost Momentum

FLASH, in its infinite wisdom, has spoken! Hedera has been romancing the descending channel since midyear, plotting its course with lower highs and lower lows, much like a lovesick poet doomed to perpetual indecision. But, hark! The asset recently made a daring move off the lower boundary at $0.16, valiantly reaching for the upper resistance line near $0.20. Will it break free? Or will it waltz back to its sad, familiar range? Only time will tell.

Cryptoqueen’s Fall: Zhimin Qian’s 11-Year UK Jail Saga 🏢💸

In the hallowed halls of London’s Southwark Crown Court, on a day of great judicial drama (November 11, for those keeping score), Judge Sally-Ann Hales declared war on Qian’s ill-gotten gains. The “Goddess of Wealth,” also known as Yadi Zhang-a name now synonymous with fiscal folly-pleaded guilty, perhaps realizing that British courts do not tolerate crypto charlatans.

Bitcoin Whales Flee in Panic! 🐘💸

One of Bitcoin’s most influential investor groups: newly formed whale addresses, who thought they were invincible, have taken a hit in a market where sentiment is still ambiguous. Bitcoin’s volatile swing in the past few weeks has now sent these key investors’ positions into severe losses, as the price drops below their entry levels. It’s like watching a toddler try to juggle flaming torches-entertaining, but ultimately tragic. 🔥👶

Uniswap’s UNI: Will It Skyrocket or Explode? 🚀💥

“If the fee switch activates, UNI could go parabolic,” Ki wrote, “like a rocket built by people who’ve never seen a launchpad. Annual burns could hit $500M if volume holds, and exchanges are holding $830M in UNI. Even with unlocks, a supply shock seems inevitable. Unless the universe suddenly decides to play nice.”