Crypto news

“A deposit is a deposit,” Hill intoned, as if reciting a mantra to ward off madness. Whether it rests in a vault or on a blockchain, it must retain its value and protections, he insisted. One imagines the FDIC as a weary monk, now tasked with insuring digital tokens instead of dusty coins. The upcoming guidance, they say, will clarify how insured tokenized deposits might function. Clarify? Perhaps. Resolve the deeper existential crisis of whether money can truly exist without a physical form? Never. For in this brave new world, even the FDIC’s $250,000 limit feels like a relic of a simpler age-or a cruel joke.

Though the technical analyses suggest a potential rebound, the gloomy economic forecasts, replete with recessionary specters and tariff-induced turmoil, cast a shadow over this optimism. One might say the global economy is less a thriving organism and more a poorly maintained Victorian clockwork. ⏳

At present, Bitcoin trades at £97,527, a 5.5% decline from its past 24 hours. The market, ever the drama queen, hath seen a 4.3% drop in the past week, a 13% retreat in a month, and a 22% fall from its October peak of £126,080. One might say it is the crypto equivalent of a fallen heroine in a Gothic novel-melodramatic and increasingly desperate.

History whispers of such crossroads, where bottoms bloom like daisies trampled by bulls. Yet 2025 isn’t some village fair-this is the apocalypse sequel, the sequel with less popcorn and more zeroes. Is this the finale or merely a villain’s monologue pre-climax? 🤷♂️

Hougan frames the development within his long-running meta thesis that crypto is “going to reinvent the fundamental aspects of finance.” He highlights Bitcoin as “reinventing gold,” stablecoins as “reinventing dollars,” and tokenization as “reinventing trading and settlement.” He stresses that crypto remains early in each cycle but says the endgame is already visible: “I expect that eventually most assets will be tokenized, most dollars will move on stablecoin rails, and bitcoin will be as widely accepted as gold.” 🪙✨

Michael van de Poppe, that prophet of pixels and candlesticks, proclaims that SUI may yet rise from its grave. The same cursed zone that once birthed monstrous rallies now beckons again-some lunatics even mutter of $20. Madness? Perhaps. But then, what isn’t?

Ever since the Bitcoin bulls found themselves rather stuck near that dizzying height of $126,000, they’ve appeared to have misplaced their enthusiasm. Their inability to defend a perfectly good interim support level is, to put it mildly, concerning. We’ve had a procession of lower highs and lows, culminating in a rather undignified tumble to $96,712. A bit of a rebound to above $97,000, naturally, but the threat of further decline hangs over one’s head like a particularly gloomy cloud.

Inactive supply is on the rise as exchange reserves plummet-sounds like classic accumulation to us.

Investors have pirouetted around with $2.64 billion in just three weeks, coaxing us to don the tinfoil hats and believe something sinister is afoot. It’s akin to our love for Diet Coke, full of bubbly potential followed by the rapid descent of reality.

The culprit? It’s the daily unlock-glorious drip, drip, drip of tokens flooding the digital gulag. More pioneers = more supply = more panic selling. Is this innovation? No. It’s economics with a smiley face emoji. 😊📉

And, of course, the great promise-utility! Ah yes, the mythical “real-world use.” You know, like buying a kilo of potatoes in Siberia with Pi. Except… there are no potatoes. There is no store. But plenty of PowerPoint slides. 🥔🚫

Without utility or a moral obligation to HODL (Holy Digital Grail!), demand staggers beneath the weight of endless liquidity. Reclaiming all-time highs? That would require miracles. Or manipulation. We’ll leave it to the reader to decide which is more likely. 🤫