The Kobeissi Letter, that oracle of numbers, cackles: even with $8.2 billion in debt, Strategy’s BTC stash still outshines its other endeavors, which the market values at a resounding negative. 🖤 Yes, my friends, the world has decided Strategy’s operations are worth less than a hole in the ground. A bizarre disconnect? Nay, it’s a cosmic joke, a financial farce penned by a drunk accountant and directed by a vengeful god. 🎭
Hybrid Layer Two (L2) blockchain Build on Bitcoin (BOB) was listed on Bithumb on 12/3/25, and its price jumped over 120% like a startled cat in a crypto panic. Zero fees for two days? Honestly, it’s the least Bithumb could do after this kind of chaos. (KRW trading, 2 days of free trading – zero fees because money?!) 😖
In a turn of events most intriguing, Miss Yi He, the astute businesswoman who co-founded the cryptocurrency empire Binance alongside the erstwhile Mr. Changpeng Zhao, has been anointed co-CEO. This proclamation was made by none other than Mr. Richard Teng, the current CEO, during the grand Binance Blockchain Week. 🏰✨
Phong Lee, in a rare moment of clarity between sips of champagne, declared this setup ensures Bitcoin won’t be sold “even if the market cries like a jilted lover at a telenovela finale.” 🍾😭
On Tuesday, the Ether DATs staged a comeback as dazzling as a society hostess at a debutante ball, with the Nasdaq-listed EthZilla (ETHZ) soaring 12.35% to a princely $10.80 in after-hours trading. According to Google Finance, no less. 📈✨
In a dramatic announcement on December 2, the DOJ revealed their bold move to shut down the tickmilleas.com website, which had been masquerading as a legitimate trading platform. The site was actually part of a much larger scam operation based out of the Tai Chang compound, known to the locals (and, now, the world) as Casino Kosai. This complex is located in Kyaukhat, Burma, where the scammers, not surprisingly, felt very at home.
Bitcoin’s bounce from the $80k-$83k support zone reads like a rom-com reunion. It peaked at Friday’s $93,100, now staring at the Oct. 8 trendline like a suspicious ex-text. Breakout? Potential. Collapse? Only if MACD loses its filter. 🐾
Near $130, Solana paused-like a man tripping over his own boots-gazed upon Bitcoin and Ethereum’s noble strides, sighed, and muttered, “Fine, I suppose I’ll try too.” And lo, it pushed past $135 with the quiet dignity of a Cossack who’s finally remembered where he left his saber. 💂♂️
The rulemaking, a document no doubt filled with thrilling jargon and bureaucratic precision, is expected to arrive before the year’s end, landing upon the doorstep of the House Financial Services Committee with the subtlety of a falling samovar. A truly momentous occasion, wouldn’t you agree? 😒
On the first of December, as the year’s chill gripped the markets, Vanguard unfurled its brokerage platform to the winds of crypto exchange-traded funds (ETFs) and mutual funds. Yet, with a hauteur befitting its stature, it declared, “We do not offer our own crypto products.” A choice, they explain, born of vigilance, not indifference. 🕵️♂️
