Crypto news

Now, the plot thickens. Our old friend, the Coin Days Destroyed (CDD)-the market’s weary historian-has shown a startling decline after its recent frenzy. Think of it as the long-term holders-those antiquarians of cryptoland-deciding to keep their coins in the attic instead of hitting sell. As their activity wanes, it’s like a detective’s cloak of silence signaling that the selling spree of the ancient coins has finally taken a coffee break, easing the pressure just enough to keep the ship afloat amid the stormy seas. 🕰️🔑

The Board cheekily declared, “To make life easier, we’re officially saying sayonara to our novel activities supervision program. From now on, we’ll keep an eye on those naughty digital activities… the usual way, darling.” 😏

This filing, akin to a caterpillar donning a suit to become a butterfly, renames Grayscale’s existing Dogecoin Trust into a full-fledged ETF structure. Imagine, ordinary investors can now dabble in Dogecoin without wrestling with crypto exchanges or digital wallets-those Byzantine contraptions of modernity. And where shall the actual Dogecoins reside? Why, nestled safely in the vaults of Coinbase Custody Trust Company, of course. How quaintly reassuring. 🏦✨

Empire went all in with 5 out of 5 stars, admitting the film “shouldn’t work, but it does.” Ah yes, the classic backhanded compliment-a hallmark of cinematic excellence! And let’s not forget Esquire declaring director Cregger a “modern master of horror.” Meanwhile, Pitchfork highlights its eerie suburban satire and sharp humor, proving once again that nothing unites humanity quite like mocking the suburbs. 🏡✨

These capital requirements, dear reader, are not merely rules; they are the very chains that bind banks to mediocrity. By forcing higher reserve requirements for holding crypto, these regulations lower a bank’s return on equity (ROE), rendering crypto-related activities as appealing as a soggy cucumber sandwich at a garden party. “It’s a different type of chokepoint,” Perkins quipped to CryptoMoon, “in that it’s not direct. It’s a very nuanced way of suppressing activity by making it so expensive for the bank to do anything that they’re just like, ‘I can’t.’” 😩

Ripple [XRP] is trying to be the cool kid in a bullish Q3 for altcoins. 🌞✨

Tether (USDT) maintains its commanding position atop the stablecoin hierarchy, boasting a market cap of $165.25 billion, which has seen a modest increase of 0.44% this week and a commendable 2.93% over the past month. In terms of dollars, this translates to a rather princely boost of $4.7 billion to USDT’s market cap in the span of a mere thirty days. Meanwhile, USDC, in its second-place glory, holds a respectable $66.80 billion, having ascended by 3.56% in the past week and 7.56% in the month.

Appearing on CNBC, Rieder painted a picture of a market in the throes of extraordinary technical conditions. Trillions of dollars, he noted, are languishing in money market funds, waiting like patient cats for the right moment to pounce. 🐱 Robust corporate buybacks are shrinking the available supply of equities, making those that remain all the more precious. While the tech giants continue to command sky-high valuations, Rieder pointed out that earnings growth outside the Tesla orbit (which, let’s face it, is a category unto itself) justifies these multiples. “MAG-7 year-on-year growth is like 54%,” he marveled, adding that such a pace makes the sector almost irresistible. 🚀📈

But numbers are cruel ranch hands; they don’t pat heads, they count teeth. And the teeth-those jagged little Exponential Moving Averages-showed SHIB had slipped under both the 50-day and 100-day fences. The chart itself drew a tired, ironic smirk: a head-and-shoulders pattern, like some poor soul shrugging at fate. Head at $0.00001760, shoulders sagging at $0.000016, neckline drooping to $0.00001027. One slip of the paw below that neckline, and the mutt might tumble clear to $0.000090-yes, another zero for the scrapbook. 🙃

Among the top 100 cryptocurrencies, OKB, KCS, ADA, HYPE, and ARB have danced between 10% and 100% gains in the past seven days. While Bitcoin and Ethereum bask in their bullish glory, whispers of an altcoin season echo through the digital ether-a mid-August spectacle as predictable as it is tantalizing. 🌪️💫