According to a press release that managed to find its way to the desks of Bitcoin enthusiasts everywhere, BPI India intends to spread the gospel of Bitcoin to policymakers, regulators, and the common man. The noble aim is to craft a pro-Bitcoin policy framework, ensuring that India’s economic future is as secure as its political past. 📜
Hyperliquid (HYPE), that darling of decentralized finance, dances merrily toward fresh milestones. With $29 billion traded within a day and $7.7 million collected in fees (bravo, truly), the platform boasts metrics that would make even Ivan Turgenev raise an eyebrow 🙄. Ah, but what does the Twitter-sphere say about such achievements?
David Bailey, the man who once thought Bitcoin was a new way to pay for bagels, will now run the merged mess. Tim Pickett, KindlyMD’s former CEO and current Chief Medical Officer, gets a promotion to Director. Because nothing says “medical expertise” like a title that sounds like a Netflix show. 🩺✨ The board also added six new members, including Bitcoin enthusiasts who probably still think NFTs are “those digital cats.”
The US Treasury’s Office of Foreign Assets Control (OFAC) threw the book at Garantex (again) and its shiny new successor, Grinex. But TRM Labs suggests this whole thing might be a bit like trying to nail jelly to a wall. Apparently, exchanges like Garantex have a knack for “preparing contingency plans well in advance of anticipated enforcement measures”. It’s almost *admirable*, if they weren’t busy helping people launder money. Almost.
This week’s tranche of contracts, with a put/call ratio of 0.90, presents a tableau of perfect equilibrium: bulls and bears locked in a waltz, neither gaining the upper hand. 🕺🐻 Open interest, that fickle mistress, peaks at $140,000, surging to $3.2 billion on Deribit. And at $120,000? Another $2.4 billion, as the bulls, ever optimistic, pile on. Meanwhile, lower strike prices wither like a forgotten manuscript. 📉
Solana, the plucky little devil, started its ascent after finding support near the $185 zone, much like its chums Bitcoin and Ethereum. It climbed above the $192 level, entering a short-term positive zone with the gusto of a chap who’s just spotted the bar is open. 🍸
The theory fueling these astronomic numbers? That XRP could become the global payments standard, effectively replacing the current banking settlement systems. Supporters argue that if this happens, XRP’s value could rise “beyond all limits.” Because why settle for the moon when you can aim for the entire galaxy? 🌌
March, that glorious month, still holds the crown for the highest funding at $69 million, but alas, after the dismal months of April, May, and June-where funds seemed to vanish like a magician’s rabbit-capital is now flowing once more. “Primarily to projects with proven teams, strong IP, or infrastructure supporting multiple games,” quoth the wise analyst Sara Gherghelas in her latest scroll of wisdom. 🧙♂️
I squint at the screen: ticker tape drips like melting icicles. “See?” the cameras howl in that sterile newsroom tone, “$123,700, correction, then another stab upward!” Traders bite nails shorter than Julian calendars, while macro jester-gods wager on Federal Reserve mercy like children carving promises on birch bark. The whole zoo reeks of expensive aftershave and microwaved hope.
Bitcoin’s descent to just under $118,000, source: Bitcoin Liquid Index
