Crypto news

Let’s dive into the most scrumptious stories that tickled our fancy over the past few days!

This latest acquisition has pushed their total Bitcoin stash to a staggering 592,100, all for the bargain price of around 41.84 billion dollars. That’s an average of $70,666 per Bitcoin, which is a number that would make even the most seasoned gambler raise an eyebrow. By this move, Strategy is waving its flag high, declaring Bitcoin as its main treasury asset. 🏴‍☠️

Mr. Bluntz, a gentleman of considerable influence, with 320,800 followers on the social media platform X, has taken it upon himself to inform his audience that silver may soon outshine the illustrious gold, which has been basking in the glory of new all-time highs.

After a brief flirtation with the $2,850 range, Ethereum took a nosedive, landing squarely in the arms of its support zones. But fear not! Our caped crusader of crypto analysis, BATMAN (not to be confused with the one who fights crime), suggests that this is merely the calm before the storm. 🌩️

According to blockchain security firm SlowMist, the wallet was hacked by fraudsters who managed to sell it on Douyin’s e-commerce storefront. The money was then laundered through Huiwang, a Cambodian network associated with shady activities, making it nearly impossible to recover the stolen funds. Better luck next time, buddy! 😜

Michaël van de Poppe, in a post on X earlier today, declared SUI “super interesting as an ecosystem.” He pointed to several major on-chain milestones, as if he were unveiling a new art exhibit. The stablecoin supply on the Sui network has ballooned from $400 million in January to nearly $1.2 billion. Meanwhile, total value locked (TVL) has reached $1.8 billion — ranking third among non-EVM chains. Wallet adoption is accelerating, thanks to the integration of Phantom and the launch of Slush, the rebranded SUI wallet. Talk about a makeover! 💄

Now, you might think this delay would send Haedal into a tailspin, but surprisingly, it seems to be holding its own. Both tokens are showing price curves that resemble a dramatic rollercoaster ride—up, down, and then resting on a slightly higher floor. Who knew crypto could be so thrilling? 🎢

Now, let’s talk numbers. The token is up 1.5% in the last 24 hours, which is cute, but it’s still lagging behind the CoinDesk 20. You know, that index of the top 20 cryptocurrencies that excludes stablecoins, memecoins, and exchange coins. Because who needs those, right? 😅

But lest you think progress arrives with plodding feet, along comes the Trading Bot, a tireless servant, programmed for Spot Algo Orders and ready to leap into action faster than your babushka can hide rubles under a mattress. Truly, human folly meets technological magnificence as bots now toil from the get-go, so that humanity may—how you say?—“strategize” with the touch of a button, all while sipping tea and contemplating the futility of existence. 🤖🍵

The 8-hour chart, a veritable ballet of numbers, reveals how the $BTC price dipped to touch the support just below $103,000, a move coinciding with Israel’s dramatic entrance onto the stage of conflict. Yet, like a seasoned performer, $BTC has bounced back with a vengeance, adding $4,400 to its repertoire while the conflict continues to play out. 🎶