And get this-more than 11.9 billion Norwegian krone (that’s a cool $1.2 billion, don’t worry, they have plenty more) are stuffed into Strategy alone, up 133% from last year. Coinbase? They just can’t get enough, increasing holdings by… wait for it… 96%! It’s like a Bitcoin buffet, and everyone’s going back for seconds! 🤣
The recent price surge has unleashed a torrent of liquidations, a spectacle as grand as a Bulgakovian carnival. 🪩 Coinglass, that ever-watchful oracle, reports $252.5 million in ETH positions liquidated in a mere 24 hours. Longs weep, shorts rejoice-a drama fit for the stages of Moscow! 🎭 Among the carnage, $58 million from longs and nearly $194 million from shorts have bitten the dust. Meanwhile, open interest in ETH futures has swelled to $61 billion, though in true crypto fashion, it’s mostly smoke and mirrors, with actual ETH interest still lagging behind its July peak. 🧙♂️
Right now-4:46 in the afternoon, Pacific time, coffee gone cold-the ticker says $4,718, only three football fields and change from the trigger. On the Hyperliquid charts the liquidation wall shows up dense as tumbleweeds against a wire fence, each contract a little domino wearing a bear suit and sweating like a preacher in July 🧊🐻.
When the Asian trading session kicks off, ETH already hit a lofty $4734.45, as if it’s been shot out of a rocket. Trading volumes are surging – up 25%, no less – with a tantalizing $61.58 billion exchanging hands. And since we’re talking bullish frenzy, consider this: we’re only about $200 away from that shiny, historic high, making it feel almost as easy as flipping a pancake.
Coinbase’s institutional Bitcoin trading volume hits 75%, a sign that BTC prices tend to rise shortly after.
The grand transaction, which was announced on that fateful day of August 12, reminds one quite vividly of high school dances: a combination of registered direct offerings and private placements, both at a charmingly-coiffed $7.50 per share. Major institutional investors and crypto venture capital firms scrambled in, undoubtedly wearing their best masks of serious intent.
Yet, the unwashed masses, those poor souls mired in “disbelief,” remain steadfast in their skepticism as this altcoin prima donna pirouettes toward its 2021 zenith. A mere 6.3% separates it from the $4,891 pinnacle of November 16, 2021-a date that shall henceforth be known as “The Night Ethereum Wore Diamonds.” 💎
But wait, there’s more! These financial sages aren’t stopping there. They’ve boldly forecasted that by 2028, Ethereum might even surge to a jaw-dropping $25,000. Clearly, somebody in a suit has been daydreaming about being a billionaire, while the rest of us are just trying to figure out how to pay off our credit cards. The reasons for this optimism? Well, apparently, Ethereum’s been busy building its résumé with real-world applications and charming investors like a Netflix star with a new episode. This isn’t just wishful thinking, folks – it’s a sign that the bigwigs see long-term potential in the digital asset that’s confusing everyone from tech nerds to grandmas lately. 🧐✨
But how did they achieve such a feat, you ask? With the grace and cunning of a true financial maestro, Metaplanet raised a whopping 242.2 billion JPY, all to fuel their insatiable appetite for Bitcoin. And what a feast it has been! They boast an impressive 468.1% yield on their BTC investments, a figure that would make even the most jaded investor do a double-take. 😲
Ah, but one must not merely purchase and hoard these ephemeral tokens as if they were to be displayed in the parlors of idle aristocrats! Nay, the sagacious ones employ a plethora of strategies, striving resolutely for the accumulation of tokens over time-a performance that could make even Raskolnikov reconsider the nature of profit and suffering. It is whispered in their blockchain missive that such tactics may yield greater bounties than the laborious engagement typical of a mundane crypto exchange-traded fund (ETF). Who knew finance could resemble such a convoluted existential crisis?
