A 26-year-old TikTok influencer, no doubt a titan of the digital realm with a whopping 40,000 followers, was the latest target in this troubling trend. According to local outlet Europe 1, the poor soul was abducted late Friday night while returning home in Juvisy-sur-Orge, a residential commune in the southern suburbs of Paris. He was forced into a stolen vehicle by four men, and then reportedly beaten and tortured. Ah, the humanity! 😱
In a delightful twist of fate, the Tokyo-based company procured 1,112 BTC for a princely sum of $117.2 million, at an average price of $105,435 per Bitcoin. CEO Simon Gerovich, ever the showman, announced this on X, as if it were the latest gossip from the high society of cryptocurrency. This purchase has propelled its holdings above Coinbase’s modest 9,267, according to the ever-reliable BitcoinTreasuries.com.
In a bold move that would make even the most daring of gamblers blush, BlackRock is setting its sights on a staggering $400 billion from its clients over the next five years. Why, you ask? To double its operating income and stock price by 2030, of course! The Wall Street Journal has the scoop, and it’s juicier than a ripe peach in summer.
With the geopolitical situation resembling a bad game of Risk, gold is looking like a safe bet. It’s already had a cracking year, rising over 20% and breaking all-time highs with reckless abandon 📈. But the clever folks at Bank of America think it’s got more room to grow.
Under this new regime, whether you’re a humble trader or a crypto tycoon, all crypto assets, be they in self-custody wallets or stashed overseas, shall be subject to the taxman’s gaze. Brazilian investors must now declare their gains quarterly, with the consolation of offsetting losses from the past five quarters. But beware, for this window of mercy shall narrow from 2026 onward. 😢
Bitcoin, that grande dame of cryptocurrencies, has fallen below its 30-day moving average. Oh dear, short-term caution is advised, traders! But fear not, for long-term sentiment remains buoyed by those dashing institutional inflows and a rise in treasury allocations. It’s all very grown-up, really. 💼
Hoskinson stated, “Argentina is likely going to be the first country of the modern era to have private money over central banks.” He added that nearly $100 billion of Argentina’s $700 billion GDP is now in crypto, crediting much of this transformation to President Javier Milei. Hoskinson even called Milei “the prince that’s promised,” a notable departure from his far more critical remarks on other national leaders like El Salvador’s Nayib Bukele.
For two consecutive weeks, the tides of fortune had flowed away from this esteemed cryptocurrency, leaving many to wonder if its star had finally begun to wane. But alas, dear reader, the market, much like a lady’s heart, is a fickle thing, and sentiments can shift with the wind. And so, as the week drew to a close, a most welcome resurgence was observed, with strong capital flows returning to BTC ETFs, like a suitor returning to his beloved.
Previously, Coinbase Global was the 9th-largest public holder of Bitcoin, with a total of 9,267 coins. However, the Bitcoin treasury company has now amassed more Bitcoin, surpassing Coinbase and taking the 9th spot on the list.
According to those eagle-eyed sleuths over at SlowMist (top hats off, gentlemen), the “private key was compromised at creation”—which in plain English means the only thing colder than the wallet was our chap’s chances of seeing his crypto ever again. Funds disappeared with such gusto that even my Aunt Agatha’s pearls would envy their velocity.
