Carlson, ever the voice of reason, declared that digital currencies are “totalitarian control.” A bold statement, sure, but let’s not forget that the CIA has been busy doing actual things like overthrowing governments and pretending they don’t exist. Yet here we are, blaming Bitcoin for the end of freedom. 🤡
US President Donald Trump pardoned convicted Binance founder Changpeng “CZ” Zhao. The Wall Street Journal reported this development on Thursday. This move comes after months of furious lobbying and pleas. Petitions were made by the company and the former CEO. The pardon shows forgiveness to one of the most influential figures in the global crypto industry. 🤖🌌
Sure, loads of traders are riding the crypto rollercoaster, but the data’s about as consistent as my love life. Plus, if everyone keeps betting the farm on wild trades, it might turn into a giant mess.
Data, as reliable as a well-mannered host, suggests a period of consolidation. A breach above $115,000 may reignite bullish fervor, yet a failure to do so could see Bitcoin retreat to the humble realm of $105,000. 📉📈
On Thursday, the 23rd of October, the exchange, ever so eager to share its triumphs, took to X (formerly known as Twitter-because who could resist a name change?) to announce the notable milestones achieved since their introduction of XRP futures, just a mere five months ago. And my word, what a success they have been! One might say it is almost as though the markets have awakened from a slumber to demand more of these enticing XRP futures. How curious.
“For September, the median of 18 forecasts estimates a 0.30% rise in the core CPI… That would leave both the 12-month measures at 3.1%.” A cruel joke played by the numbers, or a warning from the gods of economics? 🧙♂️
Let’s talk about Dogecoin (DOGE) first, the meme that never dies-well, at least until something newer and shinier comes along. It’s hovering at a solid $0.20, with a market cap of $29.57 billion. Oh, and volatility? Just 1.7% in the last 24 hours, so calm down, people-no need for dramatic flailing just yet. 💸
The $230 million security breach (which, let’s be honest, is enough to make even the most stoic CFO weep into their spreadsheet) effectively turned India’s oldest crypto exchange into a digital ghost town. 👻 But fear not, dear traders, for the phoenix has risen from the ashes, or at least, it’s trying to. WazirX co-founder Nischal Shetty (who probably hasn’t slept in 16 months) confirmed that trading will resume on October 24. Tokens will be enabled over four days, because even crypto needs a warm-up before the marathon. 🏃♂️ By October 27, it’ll be business as usual-or as usual as crypto ever gets. Shetty, in a post on X (formerly known as Twitter, because why not add more confusion?), said:
Samson Mow, the Chief Executive Officer of JAN3 (a title that sounds almost too grand for the occasion), tempered the enthusiasm surrounding the shift of capital from gold into Bitcoin. You see, it wasn’t just any day that Mow issued his statement; it followed a rather unceremonious collapse of the gold market.
“After careful consideration,” they intoned, as if the platform had been ailing since its birth, “we’ve decided to discontinue our service.” A bold choice, akin to announcing the sky’s blue after a hurricane. 🌪️