Hold onto your crypto hats, because Coinbase has officially decided that Euler is worthy enough to join its prestigious platform. Yes, you heard that right – the platform that brought us everything from Bitcoin to the most questionable altcoins imaginable is now backing EUL. Welcome to the big leagues, Euler.
At 36, our hero now holds a guilty verdict for operating an unlicensed money-transmitting business. 🎩💸 But wait, there’s more! Prosecutors are still eyeing him like a troll under a bridge, ready to retry him on two additional felony counts: conspiracy to commit money laundering and conspiracy to violate US sanctions. Because, you know, why stop at one legal quagmire when you can have three? 🧐
A nefarious troupe of cyberbandits has set up at least 15,000 impersonated domains-lookalikes so convincing they could fool even the most seasoned dandy of digital lore-yet how deep this rabbit hole goes remains cloaked in ambiguity. Their latest concoction? SparkKitty, a feline-shaped malware brewed with the finesse of a Bulgakov novella, freshly invented in the last three months, prowling silently for wallets and secrets. 🐱💀
Those who willingly surrender their Gmail, Calendar, and Contacts to this digital concierge may find themselves relieved of the mundane tasks of booking tables, ordering gifts, or being reminded of the impending celebration of their mother-in-law’s existence. 🎉
This new spectacle, dubbed NUVA, was born from a partnership with ProvLabs-no, not some secret society, just the folks behind Provenance Blockchain. The joint declaration on Thursday must have been quite the soirée. 🎉
In a press release that was likely drafted over a few too many lattes, Animoca Brands and ProvLabs announced that NUVA will serve as a bridge between real-world asset issuers and the eager, if not slightly bewildered, investors. Built on the Provenance Blockchain (because why not?), NUVA promises to offer a harmonious, chain-agnostic set of vaults from the crème de la crème of issuers across the blockchain ecosystem. This, apparently, will allow investors to dip their toes into various yield strategies without the hassle of navigating through a labyrinth of technical jargon. 🕸️
For those who adore the thrill of betting against the dragon, HOLO’s short interest is stratospheric at 35.50%. That’s more than most sensible investors would risk on a Friday night gamble. Notable exceptions include MSTR and MARA, sitting near 10% and 35%, respectively. Historically, stocks with such kite-flying short interest often get their day in the sun with a savage short squeeze, much like the legendary GameStop or AMC flares-though don’t hold your breath, or you might gasp in vain.
On August 7, in a move so sudden it made lightning look slow, Minneapolis’s own SharpLink Gaming announced it had sealed deals with four mysterious investors-probably secret agents, or maybe just really rich guys with too much time and money-to raise that shiny $200 million. The goal? Expand their Ethereum stash faster than you can say “blockchain,” pushing their total ETH holdings into the ‘why-is-this-necessary’ zone, comfortably over $2 billion. Yep, just your average day in crypto paradise. 🎰
In today’s Crypto for Advisors newsletter, Alex Tapscott, explains the flywheel effect, and it’s impact on the crypto markets. Because, you know, if there’s one thing we love more than crypto, it’s complicated economic theories. 😂
This shift is happening because blockchain and DAO folks are desperately trying to find new ways to send money across borders without dealing with the kind of red tape that makes your eyes cross. Apparently, traditional fiat payments-those nice, familiar dollars, euros, and yen-have dipped from a stuffy 95% of total wages down to 85%. Small change? Hardly. But enough to make you wonder if the next step is a complete overhaul of how we pay bills, or at least how we check our bank balances without the screen trying to hypnotize us. 😏
