Initially, the odds favored Kevin Hassett, a man whose economic views align with Trump’s like a well-tailored Savile Row suit. But, as is the wont of this administration, the winds have shifted, and now the bookies are laying their money on BlackRock’s Chief Investment Officer, Rick Rieder, a man whose name sounds more like a minor character in a P.G. Wodehouse novel than a potential Fed Chair.
Details, as relayed by the all-knowing oracle of onchain data, Lookonchain, tell us that our “insider” hero closed a staggering 427.29 BTC worth $37.5 million and a mere 30,588 ETH valued at $88.63 million. All this, mind you, on a day when the market thought it would be fun to pull a fast one on everyone. The coup de grace: a withdrawal of 20 million USDC from Hyperliquid to Binance, as if he was just popping out for a quick coffee (which he was, probably to drown his sorrows).
Indeed, the illustrious US Senate Agriculture Committee has confirmed it will hold a grand markup hearing at 10:30 a.m. ET. The purpose of this gathering is to scrutinize, debate, and perhaps even amend the latest draft of a certain digital asset market structure bill-fondly called the Digital Commodities Intermediary Act. How thrilling to think that this committee, which primarily oversees commodities markets and the enigmatic Commodity Futures Trading Commission, now finds itself at the very heart of the ongoing and ever-enthralling debate over crypto oversight and authority-that eternal tug-of-war between who is in charge and who merely pretends to be.
This little shopping trip brings their average cost per Bitcoin down to a cozy $76,037. All this while Bitcoin is doing the wobbly dance in January, slipping from high-flying prices above $95,000 to the nostalgic low $80,000s. It’s like watching a soap opera with more ups and downs than a rollercoaster!
Santiment, the digital oracle of asset analytics, proclaims that these three stalwarts are adorned with negative percentages for their 30-day Market Value to Realized Value (MVRV) ratios. Who knew numbers could wear such dreary attire?
On the 1-day chart, the structure is more bearish than a critic at a Mel Brooks movie. That drop on January 20th? Fuhgeddaboutit! Below $0.066? That’s not a dip, that’s a plot twist!
He insists, with a serious demeanor befitting the gravest of sermons, that this current cycle is not a miracle but a necessary purge. Like a wise peasant plowing under the weeds to let the real crops flourish, the crypto market must rid itself of the thousands of tokens that have no true demand or lasting purpose. These are mere chaff, driven only by the wind of speculation, not by the sturdy roots of utility or revenue. Truly, it is a lesson as old as mankind: what is weak shall be exposed in times of hardship.
The pullback coincides with global tensions, sending investors scrambling to the safety of risk-off positions. But don’t worry, analysts are still optimistic about XRP in 2026-because who needs a crystal ball when you have a spreadsheet?
According to ExpressVPN-an outfit that presumably makes a fine living from such anxieties-one Jeremiah Fowler discovered a database, a veritable mountain of data some 96 gigabytes in size, containing 149,404,754 unique login details. A number so large, one almost loses count… almost.
According to that reliable paper, the Nikkei Asia-and you know how those fellas love a good story-the government’s Financial Services Agency is ponderin’ addin’ these cryptocurrencies to the list of things folks are allowed to trade with. Imagine! Holdin’ Bitcoin (whatever that might be) directly in a fund, traded right on the Tokyo Stock Exchange. Why, it’s practically reckless!
