Crypto news

Parliament, in its infinite wisdom or perhaps driven by more caffeine than usual, has enacted the Virtual Asset Service Providers Bill-proof that politicians can still do groundbreaking things, even if it takes a while. Bank of Ghana’s top guy, Johnson Asiama, announced with the enthusiasm of a man who just discovered a new coffee blend, that virtual asset trading is now legal. No arrests, no stony faces-just a shiny new framework to “manage the risks.” And that phrase, dear reader, is where the fun begins. 😂

The volume has been creeping up like a sneaky ninja, aiming to push Bitcoin higher from its recent lows near $87,600. The recent reversal might seem like a sign of life, or perhaps just a short-term hiccup. In the long run, it could just be another bounce-like a malfunctioning yo-yo on a particularly bad day-before gravity (or market forces) pull it back down into the abyss of correction. That’s the danger of celebrating too early; sometimes it’s just the market playing a cruel game of “let’s pretend everything’s fine.” 😅

Gold is so hot right now, it’s making digital tokens backed by it feel like they’ve finally made it to the cool kids’ table. 🍽️💫

Meanwhile, in the shadowy world of energy, an insatiable beast awakens: AI data demand! The Electric Reliability Council of Texas (ERCOT, or as I like to call it, the “Energy Riddle Committee of Texas”) reports a monstrous surge in large-load requests-jumping from a modest 63 GW to a staggering 226 GW. And guess what? Three-quarters of this chaos is courtesy of those ever-hungry data centers, shoveling data faster than a lazy waiter in a cheap restaurant. 🍽️📊

Midnight didn’t just rally on Friday-it practically moonwalked past every expectation. Investors flung money at NIGHT like seagulls fighting over a dropped chip. Trading desks turned into frenzied circuses, with retail traders and pros elbowing each other for a piece of the action. 🎪🤹‍♂️

The UNIfication proposal-truly a blockbuster of a vote! 🎬 Voting onchain has reached a quorum, and the drama continues until 25 December. Will it be a triumphant finale or a tragic farce? 🎭

Bitcoin was teasing $88,800, perhaps trying on different price tags-global markets, meanwhile, decided to embrace risk like a cat embraces an empty box, all thanks to gold’s shimmering record and Asian stocks cheering the comeback. 🐱💼

Dogecoin, that fickle friend, edged lower over the last 24 hours. A bit of sellin’ pressure pushed it below that key support level near $0.129, with a heapin’ helpin’ of volume confirmtin’ a breakdown from its recent rest.

Far from dismissing it as the quaint superstition of Western financiers, these digital soothsayers are treating the final, desperate gasps of trading in 2025 as a sort of divinatory ritual, peering into the tea leaves to predict the fortunes of 2026. Truly, they have run out of things to worry about.

Ah, the Uniswap fee switch, or as the cool kids call it, “UNIfication,” has reached the magical number of 40 million votes. 🎉 That’s right, folks, democracy in the crypto world is alive and kicking, albeit with a few extra zeros on the vote count. This little upgrade is set to flip on later this week, marking one of the biggest moments in the decentralized exchange’s seven-year history. And by “biggest,” we mean “most likely to make people talk about it while sipping artisanal pumpkin spice lattes.”