Behold, the cryptocurrency realm may enter a new chapter of capital formation, as declared by Matt Hougan, Bitwise’s CIO, in a note so dramatic it could star in a Parisian farce. He claims compliant ICOs will fuel the next bull market-monstrous claims, worthy of a Molière villain!
Bessent, that silver-tongued savior of spreadsheets, told the press working folks might see “very good” refunds or fatter paychecks when the new tax rules drop next year. Translation: “Here’s your free money, dear Uncle Sam.”
But fear not! The folks behind this furry financial experiment-they’re still busy. Recently, they announced a partnership with Unity Nodes, which sounds more like a fancy gym class than a blockchain project. The goal? To turn SHIB into a utility, not just a joke on the internet. This means you’ll now be able to buy Nodes with SHIB, snag NFT licenses with adorable dog themes, and earn rewards like a pig at a trough. All in all, quite the “game-changing” move, if by “game-changing” you mean “more ways for us to make this thing seem important.”
Yes, you heard it right. A crack team of digital detectives at Lazarus Security Lab-who probably spend more time in front of screens than a squirrel in a nut factory-produced a report that examines these networks like a inquisitive cat eyeing a particularly tempting mouse. Out of 166 networks, they managed to find the ones that could pull the plug on your crypto stash-should they be in the mood, or perhaps feeling a tad shady. 😏
Visa Inc. has begun testing a new method for businesses to pay creators and gig workers using stablecoins, digital dollars backed by the U.S. currency. Oh, great. Now even the banks are trying to keep up with the times. What’s next? A 50% discount on existential dread?
Corporate digital asset deployment, once a lively dance, now limps forward as deleveraging drags its feet. Yet B. Riley, that eternal optimist, suggests that the U.S. government’s shutdown may soon end, lifting spirits like a spring breeze. 🌬️
Astar, a parachain performing acrobatic stunts within the Polkadot circus, has taken a giant leap for their native token by offering a “fixed supply” of 10.5 billion ASTR. Yes, you read that right-no more inflationary nonsense, just a limited number of tokens that might or might not evaporate during a mysterious event called the “Burndrop.” It’s like a magic trick, only with less applause and more blockchain jargon.
Bitcoin’s lovely upward trend isn’t exactly setting the charts ablaze, but it’s creeping up at about $104,600, waving at us from just below the sexy $110,000 horizon. While the price is trying to hold its own, momentum still looks as unpredictable as a cat on a hot tin roof. Interestingly, with spot trading volumes politely low-presumably the big institutional players are doing their secretive ballet behind the curtains-things might be happening under the radar. Who knew that quiet and subtle would be the new loud? 📈🙃
It probably won’t.)
