Crypto news

But alas, the joy was but a fleeting dream. The weekend, that tranquil interlude, offered respite, yet the heavens darkened on Sunday evening. The Ethereum, that once-mighty colossus, ascended to a new peak of $4,950, only to be cast down in an instant, as the market, a fickle lover, abandoned its embrace. Over $300 million in longs were liquidated, a tragedy of epic proportions, though the investors, ever hopeful, clutched their portfolios as if they were relics of a bygone age.

Bitmine’s latest acquisition is less a business strategy and more a fever dream of a gold rush, this time for pixels. For $354.6 million, they’ve amassed 1.8 million ETH-a sum so vast it could fund a small nation’s espresso addiction. 🧋 At $4,400 per ETH, their stash is valued at over $8 billion, which Tom Lee insists could balloon to $16,000 by year’s end. One assumes he’s consulted a crystal ball, or perhaps a very persuasive astrologer. 🔮

But let’s be real for a second: Bitcoin isn’t exactly the sprightliest horse in the stable anymore. Sure, it’s got a reputation, but when it comes to speed, well… even a rock might pass it by. Sometimes, it feels more like it’s resting in the grand hall of “digital relics” than keeping up with the sleek DeFi race cars of today.

According to a Friday announcement, multiple investors have committed about $23.3 million in an initial financing round for Amdax’s Bitcoin (BTC) treasury. This follows an announcement earlier this month that it would launch the treasury as an independent, privately held company with its own governance, AMBTS. One might wonder if the board members are still on speaking terms after such a bold move. 🧠🌀

BitMine Immersion Technologies has announced the appointment of David Sharbutt to its Board of Directors. This strategic move, detailed in an Aug. 28 post, is intended to fortify BitMine’s influence within the Ethereum network, much like a knight protecting the king’s flank.

The daily chart for $ETH shows a breakdown of the once glorious ascending trendline from August. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Oh, maybe it’s just one of those ‘throw the towel in’ moments.” But hold your horses! The day’s not over yet, and who knows? Maybe a sudden boost from the crypto market-or a timely rally when the US stock market opens-will save the day. 📈

The grand appointment of XBTO as market maker for Algorand (ALGO) promises market depth so deep you might require a snorkel (nose plugs encouraged, but not provided). Exchanges will get so lively, you’ll think someone spiked their tea with fizzy lifting drink! 🫖

Bitcoin (BTC) ETFs recorded a rather impressive $179 million in inflows on August 28, a sum so large it could buy you a small country, or at least a few luxury yachts, according to the meticulous records kept by SoSoValue. 📊

Bitcoin had a little moment of fame when it hit $110,000, but alas, the red candle swiftly showed up like the villain at the end of a bad soap opera. And what does it do? Reminds us that the bears are still lurking like the grumpy old uncle at family gatherings. There was a fleeting green candle, looking like it might be something, but it could just be eaten alive by the oncoming wave of rejection.

It appears this digital phantom, once relegated to the shadowy corners of the internet, has somehow infiltrated the hallowed halls of institutional finance. Bitwise, a name that strikes fear into the hearts of traditional bankers (or mild annoyance, at least), posits a robust 28.3% growth rate. Equities, bonds, even *gold* – all left trembling in Bitcoin’s wake. Such pronouncements! One almost requires a strong cup of tea.