The heralds proclaimed on Tuesday that this enterprise shall clutch at least 43,500 BTC, a sum fit for kings, worth some $5.15 billion, after snatching an extra 5,800 tokens from Tether. ‘Tis an uptick of 1,500 Bitcoin beyond their initial daydreams when they burst onto the scene earlier this year. 😏
With each passing day, the market indicators whisper dark omens, suggesting that Pi might plummet beyond its current threshold, past the point of no return. It’s like watching a tragedy unfold—only the actors are lines of code, and the tragedy is unending. The MACD— that mysterious, arcane tool—is signaling imminent chaos, a crossover that could march Pi straight into the abyss. Folks are praying for a miracle, but all they might get is a fault line that fractures the fragile hope of recovery. And if that happens? Well, the carnage would be spectacular—like a fireworks show gone hopelessly wrong. 🎆
Meanwhile, the esteemed crypto soothsayer, Crypto Rover, has unveiled a chart so tantalizing, it could make even the most stoic investor swoon. 🧙♂️
Back in July 2015, Ethereum burst onto the scene, throwing smart contracts into the mix and cracking open the door to the decentralized finance ball. And to everyone’s delight (or dismay), it’s been ticking away unbothered for a decade—no interruptions, no fuss! 🥂
Not one to let good news go unmilked, the President, that cheerful maestro of repetition and thunderous tweets, wasted neither breath nor capital. No sooner did the numbers arrive than Mr. Trump bellowed—again, again!—for the Federal Reserve to cut the sacred interest rates, like a czar pounding his fist for more caviar at a rationed banquet. 🇺🇸💼
Lo and behold, Bitcoin (BTC) has slipped—just a tiny slip of 0.75%, a mere feather’s weight in the vast ocean of despair, yet enough to make the traders clutch their worn-out hats.
The past two Augusts have resembled a particularly forgettable comedy, with last year’s misadventure resulting in a loss of 13.3%, and the current year, 2023, donning its own cloak of gloom at 5.44% in the crimson. Not a full-scale catastrophe, mind you, but hardly the bull parade that the optimists envisioned.
This isn’t just Lummis flapping her gums; it’s building on what the Federal Housing Finance Agency’s William Pulte has already stirred up. He’s told Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, those lumbering giants of mortgages, to ponder how crypto fits into their risk tea leaves. Pulte’s probably thinking, “Volatility? What volatility? It’s just like stocks, but with more rollercoaster vibes.” 😜
In fact, according to Qureshi, the DOJ *actually* went ahead and did some public backpedaling during a Monday trial. “The DOJ has now backtracked,” Qureshi posted. He added, somewhat dramatically, “They’ve stated on the record that media reports suggesting charges against Dragonfly were… inaccurate.” So, in case you missed it—Dragonfly is totally off the hook. 🙃
These innovative contracts are the answer to a question that has perplexed humanity for ages: How do we trade major crypto assets without the burden of draining our savings into the abyss of speculation? Coinbase, ever the benevolent guardian of our financial whims, delights us with simpler and more cost-effective avenues. After all, who doesn’t dream of dipping their toes in the turbulent waters of cryptocurrency with less capital? 😜
