Crypto News

Darling, after weeks of what can only be described as a *scandalous* selling spree, Bitcoin (BTC) has taken refuge in a rather drab consolidation phase, hovering precariously between the $85K mark and the ever-so-slightly less glamorous $80K. The bulls, bless their hearts, are facing a rather trying test, you see. They simply *must* push BTC above $90K, or faces the dreadful prospect of those dreadful bears driving prices even lower. Think of it as a theatrical performance, with the bears taking center stage and the bulls desperately trying to steal the limelight. 🎭

Well, isn’t this just the cat’s pajamas? Jameson Lopp, that dashing cypherpunk, has come out swinging against those Bitcoins that are as vulnerable to quantum hacking as a debutante’s virtue at a high-society ball.

A recent poll revealed that the majority of American voters oppose the establishment of a crypto strategic reserve which indicates that US voters want the government to spend less on cryptocurrency.

Now, let’s get to the juicy bits. Experts are weighing in like they’re on a game show, trying to guess which market will rise from the ashes first. Spoiler alert: it’s not looking good for our digital friends. Enter Burak Kesmeci, the crypto oracle, who’s here to enlighten us on this delightful disaster.

According to the brainiacs at IntoTheBlock, there’s a rather intriguing dance happening between stablecoins and the ups and downs of Bitcoin. It seems that when stablecoin supply is peaking, it’s like the market is throwing a party, and when it’s declining, well, it’s time to pack up and go home. 🏠

“Bitcoin is an Orange Dwarf— the brightest object in the financial system— growing stronger, hotter, and denser as it attracts capital.”

Is the market peak in?

When looking at historical halving data, peaks often land 12–18 months post-halving, pointing to mid–late 2025. While institutional flows & regulations may reshape this cycle, it is likely there is more time in the current cycle

Now, one might think that such a momentous occasion would go unnoticed, but lo and behold! The fervent enthusiasts of Solana, along with its esteemed founders, Raj Gokal and Anatoly Yakovenko, have taken to the streets (or perhaps just their keyboards) to celebrate this grand event. Gokal, with a twinkle in his eye, reminisced about the state of the world five years ago, when humanity was locked in a dance of despair, and projects—especially in the realm of crypto—were being tossed aside like yesterday’s bread. 🥖

In a plot twist worthy of a Mel Brooks film, our hero was nabbed at Le Bourget Airport in August 2024! The French cops were all like, “Hey, you’re not controlling Telegram enough!” Four days later, they slapped him with charges for not stopping illegal shenanigans on his app, which boasts a whopping 900 million users! Talk about a crowded party! 🎉

So, what’s going on, you ask? A moving average, that’s what! The 23-day moving average has decided to cross the 50-day moving average—*from above, to below*, no less—setting the stage for what the experts ominously call a “death cross.” Such a pattern is usually as pleasant as it sounds, typically signaling a price correction. A correction? More like a downward spiral into despair. 😬