Crypto news

Yes, you read that right. South Africans can now pay with crypto at more stores than there are grains of sand on a Cape Town beach. This miracle is brought to you by a partnership between Scan to Pay (QR code wizards) and MoneyBadger (Bitcoin enthusiasts with a name that screams “we’re serious but also kind of adorable”). So, if you’ve been hoarding Bitcoin like it’s the digital equivalent of canned beans, now’s your chance to spend it on actual beans. 🛒🥫

And the couture momentum behind it all? Yuma Asset Management’s fund launch has given the room a little extra sparkle. With the price punching through a crucial resistance and a breakout months in the making, TAO has become the token everyone pretends they didn’t know they’d be watching. Do keep your lorgnette ready as I unveil the likely price targets, darling, with the nonchalant flair of a supper-club seer.

Behold! The 20th to 22nd series of stock acquisition rights, once destined for the eager clutches of EVO Fund, now lie dormant-a financial hibernation from October 20 to November 17. A staggering 398 million potential shares, suspended in mid-air like a Gogol protagonist caught in a bureaucratic nightmare. 🧊📜

As per the buzz from Bloomberg-who gets paid to spill the tea-our friends at Deutsche Bank opine:

“Proposal Passed: Phala is Migrating to Ethereum L2!” proclaims a triumphant missive on Phala’s X domain from Wednesday, as if heralding a new dawn in this endless night of scalability woes. It heralds the project’s next saga, thrusting toward “greater scalability and enterprise-grade security,” where once there was only the grind of limited visions. 😂

As if summoned by the whispers of the blockchain realm, Helius Medical Technologies-now rebranded as “Solana Company”-has pledged to acquire 5% of SOL, a goal as ambitious as a philosopher’s quest for truth. 🧠✨

Officials, with the enthusiasm of a bureaucrat discovering a new spreadsheet, are pondering higher transaction limits and fancier wallet features-all in the name of “cross-border harmony” (read: making it easier for mainland tourists to buy overpriced souvenirs).

SoftBank, the tech titan with fingers in every pie, is backing this merger like a proud parent at a school play. PayPay, their brainchild, is co-owned with the Vision Fund and LY Corp (SoftBank’s lovechild with Naver). The deal closed in September 2025, but the price tag remains a state secret. 🕵️‍♂️

To waddle aboard the pilot, users must register, prove a minimum banking history with BCP, and complete an investment risk assessment before purchasing. All very sensible in a world where even sandcastles require planning permission. 🏗️🧭

According to the sagacious @XMaximist, BNB/BTC has most admirably broken above a descending trendline that had constrained its movements for several months. This breakout, coupled with a most satisfactory retest of prior resistance zones, marks the early stages of a trend reversal pattern. One can almost hear the gasps of excitement from the drawing rooms of the crypto elite! 🧐📈