Crypto news

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The deal, dear reader, values CoinShares at a delectable $1.2 billion before any sweet new investments are poured in. And, just to keep things interesting, shareholders are in for a juicy 30% bonus-because, let’s face it, who doesn’t love a little extra cash in their pockets?

Upbit(@Official_Upbit) Will Launch Their Own L2 Chain! 🥳

Inmortal’s analysis, as cryptic as it is insightful, shows Chainlink approaching a support range of critical importance. The chart, almost art in its own right, illustrates a grand scene where the price plunges into this zone only to rebound with the force of a dancer recovering from a misstep. This, dear reader, would mark the end of a temporary pullback, and the dawn of a promising new upswing.

Carl Moon, a fella who named himself after the moon and trots out his thoughts on Twitter, says Shiba’s price has been tracing a shape on the daily chart he calls a horizontal triangle. “Like a herd ready to stampede,” he mutters, pointing towards that tightening momentum that could finally break loose and send prices shooting like rabbits through the underbrush.

MYX Finance [MYX] has managed to clear the $2.5 resistance level within a day, after a rather leisurely consolidation under the $1.3 level since late August. Imagine a tortoise suddenly turning into a hare! 🐇

On September 8th, amidst the clamor of daily news cycles, the Office of the Attorney General for the District of Columbia dropped a bombshell: they had filed suit against Athena Bitcoin, one of the nation’s largest operators of crypto ATMs. Imagine, if you will, these machines standing innocuously in public spaces-silent witnesses to humanity’s folly-while secretly funneling life savings into the abyss of irreversible digital theft. 🔧💻

As of a groggy Monday morning, Bitcoin had crept up a grand total of 0.56% in 24 hours, landing at $111,800. It’s like a snail doing the moonwalk. This rise came in the aftermath of August’s job report showing a paltry 22,000 jobs added, a far cry from the anticipated 75,000. Imagine ordering a feast and getting just a solitary canapé.

On a day undoubtedly chosen for maximum numerological and astrological impact (September 8), MegaETH announced its clandestine romance with Ethena: together, they midwife USDm, a stablecoin so native, it practically wears a feathered war bonnet. Designed to bankroll sequencer operations, USDm scoffs at the concept of transaction markups-you want fees? Pay them somewhere else.

The furor began on September 6, when Thompson, armed with spreadsheets and a flair for melodrama, claimed Tether had offloaded over $1 billion worth of Bitcoin while secretly hoarding $1.6 billion in shiny, glittery gold bars. Cue gasps from crypto Twitter 🐦 and apocalyptic predictions about the death of Bitcoin. “They’re dumping BTC!” cried the masses, clutching their pearls-or rather, their hardware wallets.