Crypto news

On Wednesday, BNY made a statement that clients will soon be able to dive into these money market funds via a custom private blockchain developed by Goldman Sachs. Ownership records now in a blockchain? Quite the leap from good ol’ conventional systems, huh? Buckle up, folks—billions of dollars are about to flow differently! 💸

Ah, Ethereum—the digital currency that everyone talks about but no one truly understands. Its price continues to hover near a key resistance level after weeks of upward momentum, as if pondering whether to ascend to greatness or retreat into mediocrity.

Revealed in a press release reminiscent of a cosmic epiphany on July 23, this “first-of-its-kind initiative” claims to let BNY money market fund (MMF) share subscription holders transform their humble investments into glamorous mirrored digital assets. Yes, now you too can collateralize your holdings like a pro, as if you weren’t already doing it in your dreams! 🌌💰

It seems that more and more firms are starting to see the light—or at least the potential savings—of digital assets. Nature’s Miracle plans to lock away a nice little hoard of XRP tokens, stake them for some yield, and generally make merry in the Ripple network. This isn’t just about storing XRP; it’s about using it to make the company’s financial life a bit more interesting. After all, why settle for a boring old bank account when you can have a piece of the crypto action? 🌟

In a plot twist straight out of a bad rom-com, Tron’s snuck up and flipped the script on fees. What was once the cheap date of blockchains is now charging like a high-maintenance ex, matching the big leagues. Market whiz Darkfost spilled the tea on CryptoQuant: Tron’s monthly average fee hit $1.29, beating Ethereum and cozying up to Bitcoin. As if we needed more drama in our wallets. 😏

The great exodus of ETH from Aave has left a gaping hole in liquidity, a void so vast one might mistake it for the abyss itself.

Sun’s wallets, those voracious beasts, have been siphoning ETH from Aave like a vampire at a blood drive. HTX, ever the loyal sidekick, has cashed out another $455 million, while Abraxas Capital, that stately institution, contributed a modest $115 million to the exodus. Combined, these withdrawals have left Aave gasping, its borrowing rates spiking to 10%—a number that would make a loan shark blush. Contributors, poor souls, are now coordinating like firemen at a conflagration they never saw coming.

The S&P 500, ever the cautious sibling, inched up 0.44%, while the Nasdaq yawned 🥱 at 0.14%. Tech bros everywhere mourned the lack of fireworks in a world where “AI ethics” now means “don’t offend the boss.”

The Bank of England, in its infinite wisdom or perhaps its sheer incompetence, is teetering on the brink of canceling its grand digital currency folly. According to whispers in the corridors of power, it turns its gaze instead to the private sector, those shadowy entities that promise innovation but deliver chaos.

Governor Andrew Bailey, with the sagacity of a man who’s never misplaced his car keys, declares: “If private apps thrive, why invent a new form of money?” Thus, the BoE now shoves commercial banks into a frenzy, demanding faster payments to outwit the digital pound. 💸