Contrary to rumors swirling like autumn leaves in a Moscow wind, the probe wasn’t about crypto misdeeds. Instead, it revolved around a Sacramento nonprofit, Verge Center for the Arts, where Powell’s exit sparked accusations of digital trespassing—a Shakespearean tragedy starring Slack accounts and Google credentials. 🎭🔐
Ah, the Senate, ever the trendsetter, has unveiled its latest opus—a digital asset market structure discussion draft, hot on the heels of the House’s CLARITY Act. How *novel*. 🎤
Google Trends, that cold, impartial observer of our collective madness, revealed the truth: the masses, ever restless, ever gullible, had turned their gaze upon this digital trinket. For tokens born of hype, such moments are both nectar and poison. They thrive on the breath of the crowd, yet are consumed by it. Analysts, those modern-day soothsayers, whisper warnings: such spikes are harbingers of either fortune or ruin. New buyers flock like pigeons to crumbs, yet the wave may crest and crash, leaving only wreckage in its wake. 🌊💔
The National Cryptocurrency Association (NCA), a bunch of highfalutin folks with more letters after their names than a alphabet soup, commissioned this study. They found that half of these bewildered souls admit they’re as clueless as a cow in a china shop about how this crypto contraption works. The other half are more scared of fraud and shenanigans than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. 😾
Apparently, the price chart looks like a cup. A cup! And then a handle. I once tried to make a cup out of a handle. It didn’t go well. This “cup-and-handle” thing is supposed to mean a 165% jump to $0.70. Experts say. I’m starting to think these crypto analysts spend too much time staring at graphs and not enough time outside. They’re all very excited, writing things like, “This could be the breakout DOGE holders have been waiting for!” as if Dogecoin owners are a particularly patient breed of birdwatcher.
Zilliqa (ZIL) is doing its best impression of a tumbleweed at a historically significant price zone—if by “significant” you mean “the place where dreams go to die.” It’s loitering near the value area low, cozying up to a prior swing low like a drunk cowboy leaning on a saloon post. The technical formation? A bullish broadening wedge. Sounds impressive, doesn’t it? Too bad it’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine until that resistance breaks. And let’s be real—volume’s thinner than a snake’s patience.
“Microsoft is aware of active attacks targeting on-premises SharePoint Server customers by exploiting vulnerabilities partially addressed by the July Security Update,” they wrote, as if that’s a comforting bedtime story. 📖
Meanwhile, the rest of the market is down in the dumps, but PEPE? Nope! It’s hanging on, right on the edge of some kind of breakthrough. Still, it’s over 51% below its all-time high. So, you tell me, is the glass half full or half empty? Or just completely cracked? 🤔
Meanwhile, his opponents are already cozying up to the crypto crowd faster than you can say “Bitcoin pizza.” 🍕 So what gives, Zohran?
