As the annals of history bore witness, the ether ETF surged forth, unfurling the banners of victory with a staggering $2.18 billion in net inflows—a feat unmatched in the grand saga of ether. Such a performance not only boasts a ten-week triumphant streak but also underscores the burgeoning and perhaps intoxicating thirst of institutions for ETH exposure. Oh, the irony of wealth and wisdom, tangled yet sublime!
Ah, the sacred Form 8-K! Filed with the SEC on July 21, it reveals Strategy’s latest heist: 6,220 BTC snatched at $118,940 apiece, like a miser in a Bitcoin gold rush. Their total hoard? A staggering 607,770 BTC. One wonders if the market is dancing to their tune or merely gasping in awe. 🎭
Grok and a bunch of other so-called experts are saying this surge looks eerily similar to that 2024 Q3 madness. If history repeats itself—and let’s face it, it always does in crypto because no one learns— we might be kicking off a new meme coin super cycle. People are flocking to weirder stuff like Token6900 ($T6900), making Dogecoin look as stable as a pension fund. I mean, who needs fundamentals when you can have pure chaos? 🤪
On the fateful day of July 21st, TonBit, with eyes sharp as a hawk’s, uncovered a critical flaw that threatened to plunge the entire network into chaos. A null-pointer dereference, no less! Imagine a ghostly specter capable of injecting false messages to crash the very heart of the blockchain. 🧟♂️
The cost basis distribution, presented in a heatmap (how terribly modern!), reveals that over eight million SOL were accumulated between $189 and $191. One imagines a flurry of hopeful clicks and frantic key presses. A most heavily contested zone, indeed! It represents the last gasp of optimism before the inevitable… well, you know. 📉
This move is part of their ongoing Bitcoin treasury strategy and now makes up roughly two-thirds of their $3 billion in liquid assets. In addition to this, Trump Media has also put aside around $300 million to buy bitcoin options. The company plans to keep buying more bitcoin and related assets, and may convert these options into actual bitcoin depending on market conditions. These assets will help generate revenue and could be used to buy even more crypto in the future. It’s like a 🐍 eating its own tail, but with more 💰!
Novogratz, a man whose love for Bitcoin is as fiery as the Ankh-Morpork City Watch’s annual bonfire, recently pondered a mystery: Why do some WNBA players dislike Caitlin Clark? “I can’t understand why the WNBA players hate @CaitlinClark22 or why anyone hate $BTC!!” he tweeted. “The corn and the Iowa girl are pretty damn great in my mind!!!”
According to Ark Invest, this 74% mark means Bitcoin’s supply is mostly in the grips of holders who’ve stuck around for at least 155 days. It’s like they’re auditioning for a role in “The Never-Sell Story.” They call it a sign of market conviction, positioning BTC as digital gold – or as I like to think, a shiny distraction from actual gold. 😏 Institutional buyers are flexing their muscles, outlasting those flaky retail investors. With demand from ETFs and treasury wonks, this metric might just keep climbing, giving long-term holders even more control. Because why share the wealth when you can hoard it all? 💰
This was no ordinary misfortune; the very reserves intended for liquidity—those precious coins meant to keep the engine of commerce running—were appropriated by what can only be described as a digital Houdini. But while the sanctity of user funds remained intact, the company’s own internal accounts became a playground for thieves, as if they were inviting the audience to watch a heist unfold on stage.
Everyone’s terribly enthusiastic, naturally. But even I, a professional observer of chaos, can sense a slight wobble. It’s gone up a lot, okay? A lot. Like, suspiciously a lot. Needs a breather. Probably needs a spa day.
