Crypto news

Yet lo! The eternal question arose: At what price shall we kneel before the altar of the bear market? Is this not the age-old struggle of man against fate? Some, like the enigmatic Jackis (a name as cryptic as his insights), declared that even a descent to $70,000 would not mark the apocalypse, but merely a “macro range for 2025.” A “temporary pause,” he said, as if the markets were but a weary traveler resting on the road to perdition. “Unlike 2022 or Q1,” he scoffed, “this is but a dance of OGs and institutions-no need for panic, only existential dread.” 🎭

JJanuary is here, folks, and the Senate committees are rolling up their sleeves to take on the Herculean task of Senate markup for the CLARITY Act. Imagine the energy-will someone please pass the popcorn? They tossed it over from the House, much like a tricky baton in a relay where everyone’s slightly out of breath.

The legal fallout from the Terra collapse widened again this week, a spectacle that would have astonished no one who has watched the light on a clock face for too long. The Wall Street Journal reported on Dec. 18 that the court-appointed administrator overseeing Terraform Labs’ bankruptcy has filed a $4 billion lawsuit against Jump Trading and two of its senior figures in U.S. federal court. A novel twist in a story that already reads like a ledger in mourning. 😅

From an April low of $75,000 to an early October high of $126,000, Bitcoin moved about 68%. Nvidia, with its reckless 120% swing from $94 to $207, looks like a drunkard staggering home. The numbers scream of volatility’s brutal caprice, a carnival of madness in this year of our Lord. Yet, whispers grow louder: Bitcoin’s serenity might just be a façade, a fleeting illusion amidst the chaos of human greed and folly.

The U.S. Federal Reserve, that austere arbiter of interest rates, hinted at a pause in their rate-cutting spree, a move that sent risk-takers scurrying for cover like children avoiding a thunderstorm. “Brrr, mustn’t get too cozy with risk,” they muttered, clutching their portfolios tighter than a miser with a piggy bank. 💰

Let us not forget-this paltry offering amounts to around $120 million, a tidy sum indeed by current valuations! The aim? To forge alliances with the titans of both centralized and decentralized realms, securing a place for USD1 at the high table of finance. Who knew the road to riches was paved with partnerships?

Just when you thought crypto fraud was the new avocado toast of crime, the FBI swoops in like a boss to shut down E-Note, the alleged “dry cleaner” for dirty digital dollars. 🧺💸 Because nothing says “I’m a criminal mastermind” like using a service called E-Note. 🤦‍♀️

Key takeaways:

To the dismay of the bulls, crypto markets continued with their whipsawing action again on Thursday, with large early gains being more than reversed over a very short time frame. Because nothing says “I’m a thrill-seeker” like a rollercoaster that’s going nowhere. 🎢

Despite pockets of optimism, akin to a man expecting a rain shower in a desert, the network activity remains as lively as a doorknob at a funeral. 🌧️