But wait! Before you sell your crypto stash to buy canned beans and bunkers, there’s a twist! 😏 Despite his gloom-and-doom forecast, Kiyosaki plans to swoop in like a bargain-hunting vulture if prices do plummet. “Buy low, sell high” seems to be his mantra, though one wonders if he whispers it dramatically into a mirror every morning. 🦅
This riveting affair kicked off on July 17 via Snapshot – because who uses paper anymore? The deployment promises to drape comfy Aave smart contracts in a fresh new brand by the ever-mysterious Ink Foundation. With over 790,000 votes flocking to this proposal like moths to a flame, it’s safe to say the Aave community is buzzing like a caffeinated bee ahead of the July 21 deadline. 🐝🍯
Les investisseurs, tout à leur hâte et à leurs bras musclés, accumulent à tour de bras. Depuis juillet, ils ont retiré plus de 317 000 ETH des échoppes numériques, ce qui équivaut à plus d’un milliard et demi de nos humble dollars. La confiance est si grande qu’on dirait que tout le monde veut faire fortune avant l’arrivée du grand gâteau de la folie bullesque.
Bitcoin’s daily trading volume is now so high, it’s practically a waterfall of cash. And while the average price has dipped slightly to $117,000 (because nothing stays at a peak forever, even if it’s a crypto peak), the market cap? A staggering $1 trillion in realized gains. That’s enough to buy every loaf of bread in the U.S. and still have change for a yacht. Or a ponzi scheme.
While the crypto market does its impression of a caffeinated squirrel, PEPE has the audacity to rise 6% this week. That’s 35% up in a month! Meanwhile, your 401(k) is sobbing into a pillow. 🐍
On the twentieth of July, that most perspicacious of blockchain analytics firms, Lookonchain, reported that two newly created wallets, suspected to belong to those aforementioned whales or institutional investors, had acquired a staggering 58,268 ETH, a sum worth approximately $212 million. The assets, one presumes, were obtained from Galaxy Digital and FalconX, those paragons of financial virtue 📈.
The noble beast Ethereum (ETH), that digital thoroughbred of blockchain innovation, has galloped 5.41% higher since yesterday, and a staggering 24.77% over the past seven days. One might think it had discovered the secret to perpetual motion—or perhaps simply bribed the market gods with sufficient quantities of 🍌💨.
Our dear Strategy chairman graced us with his presence on Sunday, and lo and behold, the chart was the opening act, but the real showstopper was the caption that followed. It’s like a magician revealing the secret to his best trick—this phrase has been more synonymous with the Bitcoin-maxi crowd than avocado toast is with brunch-goers. 🥑
“The GENIUS Act has what I’d like to call—just for my own legacy sake—a Libra clause,” Disparte quipped on the Unchained podcast. Basically, if you’re a non-bank with dreams of minting dollar-pegged tokens, you’ve got to jump through hoops like a circus poodle. Spin up a standalone entity that looks more like Circle and less like a bank, clear antitrust hurdles, and face a Treasury Department committee with veto power. Because, you know, nothing says “innovation” like red tape. 🎪📜
Indeed, the latest chapter in FARTCOIN’s saga unfolded with a disheartening descent; its price, once buoyed by an upward trend, plummeted to a modest $1.53, suggesting that forces beyond the usual profit-taking whims of the market’s whales might be at play. Could it be that an invisible hand, mocking our feeble attempts at forecasting, has decided to test our resolve? Only time—and perhaps the fickle musings of derivative traders—will tell. 😜
