Florida Republican Anna Paulina Luna accused Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell of perjury in a Thursday post on X. But is the Congresswoman genuinely concerned about Powell’s renovation of two Federal Reserve buildings or is she simply playing offense for the president who has publicly threatened to fire Powell on multiple occasions?
This GENIUS bill (not to be confused with the genius of a particularly splendid dwarf with a penchant for puns) was generously signed into existence by none other than former President Donald Trump last Friday. Its main feature? Banning yield-bearing stablecoins, effectively giving a firm and all-too-brutal nudge to interest-earning opportunities, like a cat that decides your lap isn’t comfy anymore. 😾
So, get this: El Salvador, bless their little hearts, has been telling us all year that they were buying one shiny Bitcoin a day. Spoiler alert: the IMF just dropped a report that says, “Uh, actually, no.” 🍑
Meanwhile, the ever-mischievous Ether tried to impress at its 2025 high of $3,700 but soon found itself retreating to a somewhat less enticing $3,550. What’s next, an extravagant revival to $8,000? One can only speculate! XRP, however, has thrown caution to the wind, flashing past its previous record to an exhilarating new height of $3.60 before taking a modest breath at $3.40—still a remarkable leap of 4% within a day and 35% within the week! Who knew that digital currencies could have such enthusiasm for dramatic rises? 🚀
This past Friday, the Dow Jones succumbed to the whims of fate, stumbling downwards by 238 points, the equivalent of a full-bodied stumble at a grand ball, representing a 0.54% decline as if mocking our optimism. Simultaneously, the S&P 500 crept down by a mere 0.14%, and the tech-savvy Nasdaq Composite followed suit, drifting downwards by 0.09%. The number crunchers cheered at the plateau of values, blissfully ignorant of the storm brewing behind the shadows.
This harmonious collaboration brings together two heavyweights in the crypto arena. Bitget and Ondo are on a mission to make tokenized forms of real-world assets—like stocks, exchange-traded funds (ETFs), and money market funds—more accessible to the everyday Joe and Jane. 🧑💼👩💼
Now, here’s where the delightful absurdity kicks in. A keen-eyed observer (and, indeed, a rather sharp-witted chap at Whale Alert) pointed out that the actual transaction fee was a mere 1.6 ADA (or, if you’re feeling particularly frugal, 0.83 ADA). A rather negligible amount, one might argue, considering the headline-grabbing figure. 🤭
Immutable [IMX], this cryptocurrency thing, it’s been climbing, yeah? Like a desperate man up a beanstalk. Market cap up 14% to $1.1 billion and the price is, like, $0.62. Not bad, not bad… but still waiting for the goose that lays the golden eggs.
As the spot Ethereum ETF inflows boom and the venerable institutions of Wall Street, including the esteemed BlackRock, pour forth their capital, Ethereum’s momentum has reached a most critical juncture. A staggering $73 million in inflows has been recorded in a mere week, with BlackRock alone contributing a handsome $300 million in a single day. The Ethereum open interest, a measure of the market’s confidence, has soared to an all-time high of $45 billion. Truly, the stars seem to be aligning in Ethereum’s favor.
Alas, in a week fraught with irony, the crypto realm has trod to a historical victory. The worthy stablecoin bill, cleared by the oh-so-wise jesters of the U.S. House, is now eagerly awaiting a stamp of approval from none other than the Donald himself. 🦅
