Crypto news

Even in the quagmire of this absurd marketplace, Coinbase, in its unladylike haste, decided upon the listing in a mere day, as if knowing the fickle nature of the crowd. “Users could engage with the token positively and safely,” mused Paul Grewal, the Chief Legal Officer, with a measure of irony that could make even the most stoic chuckle. Yet, the very decision was colorfully wrapped in the caveat of being an “experimental” token, thus gently nudging participants to expect the unexpected, including wild price fluctuations. 🎢

The Dow Jones Industrial Average, which had been on a bit of a winning streak last week, decided to take a 100-point nosedive. It’s like the stock market’s version of a roller coaster, but without the fun. Losses in early trading added to the general mood of “what did we do to deserve this?” following President Donald Trump’s renewed tariff threats. The S&P 500 and the Nasdaq Composite, not to be outdone, also opened lower on Monday, just to keep things interesting.

Once a maestro of 12 uninterrupted weeks of ecstatic Bitcoin purchases, Saylor whispered sweet nothings on social media—hints that ignite the hope of another melodramatic buying spree.

XRP now graces the exalted rank of #2 on Coinbase (right behind our beloved Bitcoin), flaunting an astonishing trading volume of $413 million in merely 24 hours. How charming! At this very moment, Ripple’s enchanting token is waltzing at a price of $2.96, boasting a 6% increase in daily charm and a delectable 29% gain over the week. A mere trifle, one would say, all thanks to the insatiable thirst of our large holders. 😏

Lo! The crypto market doth flourish, a veritable garden of verdancy, with top coins ascending to dizzying heights akin to a juggler with one too many balls! Watch as Bitcoin

As XRP prices surge and optimism soars, is there any truth to this tantalizing tale? Let’s see what Coinpedia’s investigation uncovers.

After this latest acquisition, Metaplanet now holds 16,352 BTC. Translation: $1.64 billion. They’ve solidified their place as the fifth-largest publicly traded corporate BTC holder in the world. Yes, I said fifth. Just a week after their last spree of buying 2,205 BTC, they’re still on a roll. We get it, Metaplanet: you’re not into small potatoes.

A staggering $1.73 billion is shorted on CME, that exclusive playground for those with deep pockets and sharp minds, according to our friends at the Block who manage to extract such juicy details from the CFTC’s treasure chest. The CME’s stats have confirmed that ether leveraged net totals are bending over backwards to show off those shorts, as noted by the ever-watchful eyes at X account zerohedge.

Bitcoin had a negative return of -11.7% in Q1 2025, despite January’s 9.54% gain. However, Q2 saw a strong rebound, with April up 14.2%, May up 11.1%, and June up 2.4%, resulting in a quarterly return of +29.9%. At the start of this quarter, Bitcoin was priced at $105,653.37 and has since risen by around 14% to $122,146. Earlier today, it briefly peaked at $123,000. The rally is supported by a pro-crypto U.S. regime, expectations of lower interest rates, increased government spending, and a strong stock market.

This little escapade achieved notoriety this week, as Bloomberg gallantly reported that Lloyds and Aberdeen have decided to tango with the digital tokens representing both Aberdeen’s money market fund (oh, so terribly fancy!) and those timeless UK gilts. These little digital darlings were flawlessly issued, transferred, and kept under wraps through Archax on the Hedera Hashgraph blockchain. An impressive feat, if I do say so! 💁‍♂️