Per Axios, this cash injection follows Polymarket’s billion-dollar valuation and its U.S. market debut-courtesy of a $112 million acquisition of QCEX, complete with a shiny CFTC license. Let’s just pretend the FBI raid on CEO Shayne Coplan’s apartment last year was *totally* unrelated. 🕵️♂️💣
This latest acquisition, made in the balmy days of August 2025, marks the third time in just over a year that Kong has chosen to bolster his holdings. Previous forays into the market occurred in May and September 2024, each time leaving the financial world to ponder the depths of his conviction. 🕵️♂️
Arkham Intelligence, that nosy fellow with spectacles always perched on the edge of chaos, reported a spectacle worthy of a Bulgakovian novel: a whale-yes, a literal digital leviathan-swallowed $2.5 billion worth of ETH in mere hours and staked it all through a single contract, as if whispering, “Try to catch me, mortals!” The timing was impeccable, like a master conductor orchestrating Ethereum’s symphony of DeFi grandeur and institutional drama. While retail traders scatter in panic at volatility, these behemoths waltz calmly after market reversals, nodding to the cosmos in smug validation. 🐳🎶
Data from the ever-so-reliable Santiment indicates that the 50-day average of Dogecoin transfers worth $100,000 or more has hit a five-month high in August. This is either a sign of great faith in the future of the world’s favorite meme coin, or a massive inside joke that only the whales understand. 🌊
Everyone sold. Everyone bought. Everyone’s mother got involved. The tally? 1.8 trillion tokens shot out the door. That’s “trillion” with a T. BONK got dumped harder than a badly timed WhatsApp message, but somehow, technical support rose around $0.0000197, drawing the price back into a very uninspired band between $0.0000203 and $0.0000205. 🎢
According to their X post (because apparently press releases are so 2010), Creator Coins are powered by Raydium Launchlab, meaning liquidity and tradability are baked in from day one. And thanks to their Proof of Audience magic trick, only creators with actual fans-yes, real humans, not bots-can launch coins and set goals like minimum supporters and staking hoops to jump through.
is this faith or folly? 🚢❄️
Turns out, the market’s as clear as mud. No one’s really in charge; it’s more like a chaotic game of liquidity hide-and-seek. The game? Bidirectional liquidity hunts-fancy talk for “who can scare the other side more?”
In a flurry of posts on X, Morgan unmasked the curious case of Tenreiro, now a polished partner at a prestigious law firm, whose résumé proudly cites courtroom victories in crypto enforcement, yet quietly tiptoes around his two-thirds defeat in the Ripple battle. And the appeal? Yes, the SEC itself waved it goodbye. 🫣
BigQuery, a sleek and serverless data warehouse offered by Google Cloud, promises the wonders of analyzing mountains of data with SQL and the occasional sprinkle of artificial intelligence. Yet, as with many promises, reality bore fangs.
