Just last week, public firms splashed out a cool $275 million on BTC, and Metaplanet nearly matched this sum all by itself. Strategy, Semler Scientific, Genius Group, and a host of others have also made their grand entrances, each with a flourish of the hand and a wink. 🎩✨
But here’s the kicker: they’ve been on this crypto crime spree for a solid decade, tracking down and shutting down online scams left and right. It’s like a never-ending game of Whac-A-Mole, but with more zeros. 🐹💰
On July 7, the team behind TrumpMeme (TRUMP) announced that they’re launching the memecoin on the Tron blockchain, marking the latest twist in the token’s turbulent journey. 🎢
History, in its endless irony, delights in repetition. The strategic whispers that fluttered about corridors in 2020—like a rumor of extra bread in a famine year—have now been whistled into a march by the accountants’ own revolutionary brigade: the infamous FASB revision of 2023. With a stroke of a quill (or, more likely, a soulless update to some PDF), these accountants, usually sworn enemies of innovation, tossed a crumb to the Bitcoin faithful by deigning to let its balance sheet existence approach respectability. Widespread adoption, as inevitable as rain in the Russian countryside, crept ever closer in 2024, and not even the dullest bureaucrat could deny it—though goodness knows they tried.
Irony abounds: these forsaken coins, in a perverse act of defiance, even managed to post gains shortly after. TIA strutted upward by 10%. The rest, not so much, perhaps out of spite or existential fatigue.
What makes the masses dance? A crypto market rally, no less, encouraged by the new Planners—US President Donald Trump extended his own deadline for tariff hikes, likely while laughing at the confusion he sows. Now, tariffs move from July 9 to August 1, making even bureaucratic time seem as bendable as reality. US Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent speaks, and the world pretends to listen: three-week extension for those slow with their deals. In this system, the only thing more liquid than market positions is the government’s capacity for procrastination.
But wait—there’s more! The regulatory environment for crypto is suddenly looking like it’s rolled out the red carpet for institutional investors. Could this be the week that the big players finally show up with their bags of cash? Bitcoin, Ethereum, and XRP are in prime position for just that. After all, the recent $5 trillion increase in the U.S. debt ceiling is practically waving a flag that says, “Hey, crypto market, here’s some love from the government.” Historically speaking, these kinds of moves have done wonders for the crypto scene. Oh, the sweet irony of it all.
Per a Form 8-K filed with the ever-watchful U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission on July 7 (a body famed for its love of forms and utter lack of Bitcoin), Strategy indulged in zero-market gluttony between June 30 and July 6. Yes, readers, the mighty accumulator of Tysons Corner, Virginia decided to play coy for an entire week, as if in silent protest against the tyranny of abundance.
What’s causing this madness? Well, a little retail energy mixed with Bitcoin’s newfound love for sky-high prices. Bitcoin is now strutting around above $109K, and the crypto market cap just hit a mind-blowing $3.36T. That’s a lot of zeros! 💰