Per a Form 8-K filed with the ever-watchful U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission on July 7 (a body famed for its love of forms and utter lack of Bitcoin), Strategy indulged in zero-market gluttony between June 30 and July 6. Yes, readers, the mighty accumulator of Tysons Corner, Virginia decided to play coy for an entire week, as if in silent protest against the tyranny of abundance.
What’s causing this madness? Well, a little retail energy mixed with Bitcoin’s newfound love for sky-high prices. Bitcoin is now strutting around above $109K, and the crypto market cap just hit a mind-blowing $3.36T. That’s a lot of zeros! 💰
According to those frightfully clever on-chain reports, a major Ethereum whale has withdrawn a whopping 6,989 ETH (worth a cool $17.5 million) from Binance over the past three weeks. And just recently, the same wallet removed 1,900 ETH, valued at nearly $4.86 million, from the exchange. This sort of large-scale withdrawal reduces exchange liquidity, and if demand surges while supply dips, it could lead to a supply shock—a classic recipe for a price rally, if I do say so myself 📈.
For their stellar performance in the art of the swindle, Bedi received a whopping five years and four months in prison, while Mavanga was sentenced to six years and six months. The court described them as “leading players” in a sophisticated conspiracy that exploited regulatory loopholes to mislead at least 65 investors. 😈
Among the many admirers of this charming coin, one voice stands out with particular boldness and conviction. The illustrious Captain Faibik, a seasoned trader of the digital realm, has declared that XRP is not only poised for a significant rise but may very well double its current value, reaching the lofty heights of $4.60 should the current rally gain sufficient momentum. 📈
If you’re still holding out hope that interstellar travel might one day let you escape Indian tax policy, you may need to recalculate your trajectory. Crypto influencer Keyur Rohit (who has more followers than Zaphod Beeblebrox has alternate heads) revealed that starting July 7, 2025, Bybit will inflict an 18% Goods and Services Tax (GST) on all crypto-related services for Indian users. Yes, you heard right—18%. As in: “the answer to life, the universe, and everything” if life handed you a much higher bill than expected.
This recent purchase brings Metaplanet’s total Bitcoin stash to a staggering 15,555 BTC, placing its digital assets at an estimated value of $1.7 billion. The company’s strategic accumulation comes as part of its ongoing effort to leverage Bitcoin as a core treasury asset amid growing institutional interest in crypto.
The token is under heavy bearish pressure, and it looks like the smart money (you know, the folks who actually know what they’re doing) is losing confidence in any near-term price recovery. It’s like they’re saying, “You know what, we’re good. We’re just going to take our money and go home 🏠.”
As Bitcoin pirouettes, poised for a potential leap into the stratosphere, the passage of President Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill” on Thursday, with its promise of $5 trillion in new spending, is poised to be the wind beneath its wings. This sum, vast as the Pacific and as predictable as a politician’s promise, is likely to provide the necessary fuel for Bitcoin’s next ascent.
Ah, but the genesis of this crypto-caper lies in the aftermath of a quarrel—a lover’s spat, if you will—with the bouffant-topped bard of Mar-a-Lago. One Donald J. Trump, in his quest to prove that numbers, like promises, are best when inflated, presents a “One Big Beautiful Bill” slathered in deficit sauce. Musk, never one for subtlety, proclaims: “Fiat is hopeless so yes.” Pity the poor dollar, now forced to languish beside yesterday’s memes.