Crypto news

Ah, but the genesis of this crypto-caper lies in the aftermath of a quarrel—a lover’s spat, if you will—with the bouffant-topped bard of Mar-a-Lago. One Donald J. Trump, in his quest to prove that numbers, like promises, are best when inflated, presents a “One Big Beautiful Bill” slathered in deficit sauce. Musk, never one for subtlety, proclaims: “Fiat is hopeless so yes.” Pity the poor dollar, now forced to languish beside yesterday’s memes.

But hold your horses, folks! According to expert analysis, this juicy tidbit appears to be nothing more than a tall tale.

Apparently, the firm snapped up 226.42 Bitcoins on July 7 at an average price of $107,726 per coin. Not a bad bit of business, if we do say so ourselves. That little purchase is now worth a cool $24.67 million 💸.

This rally comes as the total crypto market cap has surged to $3.37 trillion, with daily volume climbing over 38%. Despite a neutral Fear & Greed index at 52, traders have been as aggressive as a Jeeves on a mission, rotating into altcoins and memecoins with the enthusiasm of a man who has just discovered the joys of a well-mixed cocktail. Join me, dear reader, as I give you an overview of today’s memecoin market trend, with all the wit and whimsy you’ve come to expect from a Wodehousian narrative.

Enter Romy Johnson, the crypto knight in shining armor, with a 40-page affidavit that might just turn the tide. 🛡️

Launched on July 7 (right when you’re trying to figure out if your weekend is still “vacation” or just “trying to survive”), BitChat is powered by Bluetooth Low Energy mesh networks. This means your devices can send messages to each other like a little Bluetooth-powered gossip chain—no servers, no cell towers. It’s like your phone’s Bluetooth is hosting a private party, and everyone’s invited. 🥳

On the 7th of July, Musk declared on his X account that his party would be the solution to the “centrist” problem plaguing the U.S. But what of Bitcoin, that digital enfant terrible? When asked by X user Renato Lima if the America Party would embrace it, Musk responded with characteristic brevity: “Fiat is hopeless, so yes.” 🤣

When Musk, the man who once grinned under his Tesla-fueled empire, finally leapt into politics, it was because his old buddy-turned-enemy, Donald Trump, decided to shove a $3.4 trillion “Big, Beautiful Bill” down Congress’s throat. The result? The U.S. deficit ballooning past a mind-boggling $36 trillion. Musk, never one for subtlety, called it a “disgusting abomination” and unveiled the America Party, a movement designed to sink its teeth into a few razor-thin House and Senate races, all while claiming the mantle of a king-maker. 📉

Post-July 4th seasonality, you ask? Thielen chuckles and says, “tends to be bullish, and markets have largely shrugged off tariff-related risks.” The July 9 deadline marks the end of the 90-day pause in US reciprocal tariffs. UBS Global Wealth Management analysts, with a hint of irony, suggest that if the US postpones the tariffs again, markets might interpret this as a reluctance to implement them, and it will support risk appetite. John Bollinger, inventor of the Bollinger Bands technical trading indicator, concurs with a wink, “Bitcoin looks to be setting up for an upside breakout.”

Analysts and commentators have taken this as a sign of warming up to the asset once again. One user even remarked, “You were the first to break Elon’s long silence on Bitcoin.”