Yes, you read that right, $200 million! It’s as if Sequans has discovered a secret treasure map leading to a mountain of gold, only this time, the treasure is digital and goes by the name of Bitcoin. The goal? To amass a staggering 100,000 BTC by the year 2030. Can you imagine it? A mountain of Bitcoin, towering over the financial landscape like a colossus!
But alas, the wise analysts at Bitfinex have declared that we shouldnât expect the Goddess of Fortune to smile upon us until later in the year-when Bitcoinâs inflow regains its former vigor and newfangled investment vehicles for altcoins roll into town. Ah, the sweet scent of capitulation! They say these new products will demand demand, creating a digital asset renaissance. Or so they hope, dear reader, or perhaps they just like throwing around words like âre-ratingâ-sounds fancy at least!
Since the year of our collective misfortune, 2020, Mr. Saylor has converted Strategy Inc. into a veritable Bitcoin Borg collective, accumulating these digital tokens with a fervor bordering onâŚwell, let us simply call it âenthusiasmâ. Over 226,000 coins they now possess. A considerable weight of digital nothingness. He posted a chart, you see, on thatâŚX platform. âBitcoin is on Sale!â he proclaimed. As if one *needs* a sale to justify indulging in such a volatile fancy. It prompted, naturally, a flurry of frantic speculation. The masses, ever seeking a sign, cling to his every pronouncement like shipwrecks to driftwood.
The rally came after Sharps revealed a private placement deal and a partnership with the Solana Foundation to acquire SOL, the blockchainâs native token. đ Sharps closed the day at $12.01, which is still way better than Fridayâs $7.40. Talk about a shot in the arm! đ
CoinGlass, that ever-vigilant chronicler of misfortune, noted that the majority of these liquidations were indeed long positions-a fate most tragic, akin to a gentleman discovering his beloved has eloped with a wealthier rival. Bitcoin itself briefly flirted with the mortifying sum of $109,000 upon Coinbase, a figure not seen since July, when summer still held promise and wallets were full.
Martinez, the human equivalent of a spreadsheet with a PhD, claims PENGU is trapped in a âBull Flagâ – a technical analysis term that sounds like a fancy way of saying âsideways move.â The chart, which resembles a toddlerâs scribbles, shows PENGU slowly descending like a deflating balloon. đ
In this age of wonders, the XRP juggernaut rolls on, now embedded in the very fabric of mainstream finance. Gemini, that twin-starred crypto exchange, hath birthed a monstrosity-the Gemini Credit Card, XRP edition. A limited-edition metal card, no less, promising up to 4% back in XRP. “No waiting, just stacking,” they proclaim, as if stacking were the highest virtue of man. đ
The proposed fund, which will trade under the delightfully catchy ticker symbol âAVAX,â aims to provide direct exposure to Avalancheâs native cryptocurrency through your regular brokerage accounts. Yes, folks, you can now experience the thrill of cryptocurrency without having to understand what a blockchain is! This filing marks the end of a two-step regulatory tango that began when Nasdaq submitted its initial application back in the ancient times of March 2025.
Turns out, big players have been stockpiling Bitcoin like itâs canned soup before a snowstorm. In July alone, exchange-traded products gobbled up 54,000 BTC, while Digital Asset Treasuries added another 72,000 BTC to their stash. Thatâs not pocket change-itâs more like pocket treasure chests đ°. VanEck first started hyping Bitcoin back in November 2024 when it was trading at $88,000. Fast forward, and US-listed miners now control 31% of the global Bitcoin hashrate (up from 30%, because apparently fractions matter here). Meanwhile, equity indexes dropped 4%, unless you count Applied Digitalâs 50% surge, which we probably shouldnât because life isnât fair.
So, could this be the spark that ignites a bonfire of venture capital pouring into stablecoins? Or is it just another government flourish in the grand dance of finance? Letâs find out.
