Crypto news

By Omkar Godbole (All times ET unless indicated otherwise)

Eric, a co-founder of “American Bitcoin,” spends half his days in a labyrinth of blockchain, while the other half is presumably spent convincing himself that the Fed’s failures are not, in fact, a conspiracy. “The system is broken!” he cries, as if the 2008 crash was a mere warm-up for this grand delusion. 🤡

He’s not the only lunatic with visions of riches. Jack Dorsey, the former Twitter boss, has his eyes set on that same million-dollar figure, like a gambler who’s already lost all sense of caution. Cathie Wood from ARK Invest? She’s dreaming even bigger, tossing out a $1.5 million target, sounding like someone who just ate too many magic mushrooms. And Saylor from MicroStrategy? Well, he believes Wall Street dumping 10% of its reserves into Bitcoin could turn the whole game into a blockbuster. Even Robert Kiyosaki, the guy who sells financial advice like it’s gold, says inflation and debt are turbocharging Bitcoin’s rocket to Seven Figures Town. 🚀💰

Once upon a time, in the year 2015, these two were as inseparable as a nose and its shadow. Together, they birthed OpenAI, a noble endeavor to create artificial intelligence that would benefit all humanity. Oh, the lofty dreams! Each pledged a billion dollars, as if tossing coins into a wishing well. But, as in all good Russian tales, harmony was fleeting. Musk, ever the restless soul, began to see shadows where Altman saw light. He wanted OpenAI to merge with Tesla, to become a for-profit behemoth. Altman, the steadfast guardian of nonprofit purity, refused. And so, the cracks began to form, like a poorly built Petersburg pavement. 🛣️💔

The candles are slumpin’ below the midline of them Bollinger bands, which are tighter than a turkey’s waistcoat 🦃. Such tightness often heralds a bigger kerfuffle, but since XRP’s sittin’ on the lower end, it’s clear the trend’s got a one-way ticket to Despairville.

The crypto industry is often hit by scams and fraud, making it a risky space for investors and users. To tackle this, leading crypto companies have come together to launch the Beacon Network, a system built to stop illegal activities. Because nothing says “innovation” like a group of tech bros trying to clean up their own mess. 🤯

Apparently, in the last 24 hours, it got even more enthusiastic, jumping another 3.4%. People seem… interested. And some charts are whispering sweet nothings about this not being a fluke. Apparently, long-term and mid-term holders are all in, which, great for them. I’m over here checking my grocery budget. 💸

Tether [USDT] has kicked off a serious minting run. In less than a week, the company rolled out two $1 billion tranches. That’s $2 billion in fresh USDT supply hitting the market. The first batch hit on the 15th of August, right as Bitcoin [BTC] tagged a new ATH at $124k. Meanwhile, the second mint followed on the 20th of August, aligning with BTC’s retrace to $112k. Is there a signal in the timing, maybe a hint the market isn’t done cooling off yet? 😅

Yesterday, we dared to report on a curious device called the ‘TD Sequential’ – a name that sounds suspiciously like a sneeze – which suggested a buying opportunity. It, apparently, ‘nailed’ XRP’s recent high. As if predicting the unpredictable is a matter of simply hammering a nail! Such confidence!

In a most astonishing turn of events, OKB has experienced a remarkable ascent of over 51% within the span of a mere 24 hours, reaching a dazzling new pinnacle of $195 earlier today. Though it now trades at a slightly less impressive $194.07, the indicators suggest a robust bullish presence, raising the tantalizing prospect of retesting and perhaps even surpassing this newfound height. How thrilling! 🎉