So, here’s the deal: As of Sept. 28 at 7 p.m. Eastern, Bitmine (NYSE: BMNR) reported they hold a casual 2,650,900 ethereum (ETH) valued at $4,141 per token (thanks, Bloomberg), 192 bitcoin, $436 million in cold, hard cash, and a cute $157 million equity stake in Eightco Holdings. Add it all up and voila, $11.6 billion. 🎉
“It has been a privilege and an honor to serve New Yorkers, delivering positive outcomes for consumers; cementing DFS as a global regulatory leader; and transforming the Department’s operations,” Harris noted. 🤹♂️ A modest string of sentences, perhaps, but with the right sort of sparkle to justify a round of claps and a cigarette‑paper bow.
Well, partner, it’s September 17, 2025-a date that’ll live in infamy or boredom, depending on your caffeine intake. The SEC just rubber-stamped generic listing standards for crypto ETPs. Why bother with 19b-4 forms now? It’s like bringing a typewriter to a digital press conference. Exchanges can now list crypto ETFs that meet these new standards. Uniformity, they call it. Boring, but efficient.
The controversial mayor of New York City, Eric Adams, who has a pro-crypto stance, has suddenly terminated his reelection bid. A man who once danced with Bitcoin now finds himself tripping over dollar bills, as if the very coins he championed have turned against him.
As you sip on that caffeinated goodness, just know that while the money’s flowing and the names are familiar, there are some sneaky warning signs creeping up behind the crypto party. And trust me, they might just crash the whole thing sooner than you think!
With withdrawals hitting a 6-year low (that’s right, six years!), Ethereum might just do that thing it loves-break your heart by dropping below $4,000. Only if people suddenly decide to buy more because right now, enthusiasm seems… lost in the mail.
The company, publicly listed and thus not entirely free from the cold wind of speculation, disclosed the move on September 29 as part of a plan to stitch together the old world of traditional finance with the unruly beauty of decentralized finance. The message traveled through the company’s social channels, as if the oracle were no longer a chamber but a tweet away, and with each post the room grew a touch more dramatic.
This move, ostensibly to “align incentives” between early adopters and new holders, seems less about altruism and more about preventing a free-for-all where eager participants might treat the airdrop like a golden ticket to early retirement. “We’ll decide things and announce it,” Leonard vowed, though one suspects the only thing being decided is whether to let the community hold its breath long enough to forget the plot holes. 💬
“A wallet older than TikTok’s entire existence has dared to move 400.08 $BTC ($44.29M)-a sum once considered a king’s ransom, now pocket change for a crypto vampire. 🧛🏻♂️💸”
“The coins were mined when ‘blockchain’ was still a buzzword whispered at obscure tech conferences, not a religion.”
The derivatives market, that two-faced jester, now winks at bearishness while options squabble like quarreling spouses. Exchange-traded funds weep, their outflows dripping like a broken faucet. For ETH ETFs, this fifth-day exodus rivals a royal scandal since Sept. 8!
