Crypto news

On the platform X, where whispers become roars, the vigilant sleuth Lookonchain unveiled a spectacle: a wallet, silent since January 2011, suddenly twitched. This wallet, once a mere vessel for 3,962 BTC, had lain untouched, perhaps forgotten, like a letter in a bottle cast into the vast ocean of the blockchain. At the time, Bitcoin traded for a paltry $0.37, rendering this hoard worth a mere $1,460—a sum one might spend on a particularly extravagant dinner or a poorly thought-out tattoo. 🍷🖌️

If these digital alchemists wish to challenge the titans of technology, they must forsake the cherished cloak of crypto mystery and embrace the light of openness. 🎭

In a series of tweets that would make any self-respecting social media platform proud, Block’s CEO, Owen Jennings, declared that sellers using Square can now receive the world’s favorite digital currency as payment. He even managed to sound excited about it:

This bold bitcoin-centric treasury firm, helmed by Michael Saylor—who probably dreams in blockchain at this point—decided to price its Series A Perpetual Stretch preferred shares (STRC) in New York, where everything important happens, apparently. The demand? Oh, just a tiny, insignificant little thing called “massive” interest from investors eager to dive headfirst into the cryptocurrency pool. This, as told by our anonymous source, who has the journalistic integrity of a squirrel on caffeine.

XRP leads in yearly gains, surging 552% since July 2024 and 49% year-to-date. Can it keep this up? 🤔

For seven long days, Bitcoin has trudged through the snow between $116,000 and $119,000, neither advancing nor retreating—merely surviving, as all things must in this frozen tundra of speculation.

According to this celestial analytics platform, while our beloved Bitcoin flutters just beneath the lofty heights of its historical peak, fear not! The clouds of global economic mayhem swirl below, yet the ‘risk’ to our crypto monarch appears elusive, lurking like a forgotten ghost in a dimly lit alleyway.

It appears that the US spot ETF flows are bestowing a rather unexpected crown upon Ether, leaving Bitcoin to ponder its life choices this week.

WOO X, which is powered by the elusive WOO (WOO) token, reported they experienced this dastardly act on July 24. Just nine unsuspecting users were bitten by this naughty attack. 🐍

As we stand on the precipice of protocol change, Fusaka is entering its final rehearsal, with the main event tentatively scheduled for early November 2025. An unmistakable sequela to the Pectra debacle, this upgrade promises to continue Ethereum’s relentless pursuit of accelerated progress.