Now, some learned scholars (or perhaps merely those who claim to be such) assure us that this event, though grand in scale, shall not unduly disturb the fortunes of honest merchants. Yet, the markets have been exhibiting a most disagreeable disposition this week, teetering upon the brink as they are. A most inauspicious timing, wouldn’t you agree? 🤔
This achievement makes ETHA the fastest non-Bitcoin ETF to hit that magical $10 billion threshold and the third-fastest overall in U.S. ETF history, bowing only to the almighty iShares Bitcoin (BTC) Trust and Fidelity’s FBTC. Bravo, Ethereum! You’ve earned your place among the financial titans—or at least among the slightly-less-ridiculous ones.
Blockchain sleuths report these transfers began on July 17, with the tokens scattered like breadcrumbs to four wallets. Two of them—gobbling up 30 million and 10 million XRP—smell suspiciously like crypto exchanges (because nothing says “I believe in this project” like dumping it on Binance). The remaining 10 million? Split between two fresh wallets like a questionable inheritance. 🕵️♂️
On the platform X, where whispers become roars, the vigilant sleuth Lookonchain unveiled a spectacle: a wallet, silent since January 2011, suddenly twitched. This wallet, once a mere vessel for 3,962 BTC, had lain untouched, perhaps forgotten, like a letter in a bottle cast into the vast ocean of the blockchain. At the time, Bitcoin traded for a paltry $0.37, rendering this hoard worth a mere $1,460—a sum one might spend on a particularly extravagant dinner or a poorly thought-out tattoo. 🍷🖌️
If these digital alchemists wish to challenge the titans of technology, they must forsake the cherished cloak of crypto mystery and embrace the light of openness. 🎭
In a series of tweets that would make any self-respecting social media platform proud, Block’s CEO, Owen Jennings, declared that sellers using Square can now receive the world’s favorite digital currency as payment. He even managed to sound excited about it:
This bold bitcoin-centric treasury firm, helmed by Michael Saylor—who probably dreams in blockchain at this point—decided to price its Series A Perpetual Stretch preferred shares (STRC) in New York, where everything important happens, apparently. The demand? Oh, just a tiny, insignificant little thing called “massive” interest from investors eager to dive headfirst into the cryptocurrency pool. This, as told by our anonymous source, who has the journalistic integrity of a squirrel on caffeine.
XRP leads in yearly gains, surging 552% since July 2024 and 49% year-to-date. Can it keep this up? 🤔
For seven long days, Bitcoin has trudged through the snow between $116,000 and $119,000, neither advancing nor retreating—merely surviving, as all things must in this frozen tundra of speculation.
According to this celestial analytics platform, while our beloved Bitcoin flutters just beneath the lofty heights of its historical peak, fear not! The clouds of global economic mayhem swirl below, yet the ‘risk’ to our crypto monarch appears elusive, lurking like a forgotten ghost in a dimly lit alleyway.
