Crypto news

Less than a year ago, they did the exact same thing with Google Cloud. Let’s call it… *diversification*. Or maybe they’re just collecting cloud providers like Pokémon. 🎮

Haddad spoke about Drex, Brazil’s upcoming central bank digital currency, and insisted the point isn’t a privacy police state, but a smoother financial system. He’s basically posing for a brochure while the plot thickens in the background like a bad soap opera.

Before you swoon, do take a moment to examine the man behind the crystal ball-and why he’s so keen to wax lyrical about Bitcoin.

They got a fancy license from the Singapore central bank (a year ago! Very established!) and teamed up with StraitsX. The goal? Let you spend USDT (issued by Tether – yes, that Tether 😬) and USDC (Circle Internet, which sounds suspiciously like a spy ring) on boring things like groceries.

Well, I’ll be jiggered! Keel, the spiffing new Solana-native capital allocator, made its debut on Tuesday with plans to chuck up to $2.5 billion into decentralized finance (DeFi) and tokenized asset markets. Top hole!

Sharps Technology Inc. (STSS), that paragon of corporate acumen, has entered into a strategic partnership with Crypto.com to manage its Solana treasury-a treasure trove of over 2 million SOL tokens, worth more than $200 million. Validated by a collaboration that aims to maximize yields, increase SOL-based liquidity, and drive blockchain institutional adoption, all while pretending it’s not just a fancy way to say “invest in crypto.”

Behold, this is no mere transaction, but a resurrection! A relic from the primordial Bitcoin era, when a coin was worth less than a loaf of bread and the term “crypto bro” had not yet sullied the lexicon. Such movements, they whisper, are not the acts of madmen but of strategists-those who plot in silence, hoarding their secrets like dragons in a cave. Or perhaps, as one analyst mused, they are simply bored. Bored and wealthy. Bored and wealthy enough to send your average Joe spiraling into existential dread. 😂