TRM Labs, the self-proclaimed savior of the digital age, declared this network a “revolution,” claiming it will “block off-ramps for criminal funds.” One might ask, who are these criminals? The ones who stole your savings, of course! 💸
Among the culprits? Kyrgyzstan’s Capital Bank and its director, Kantemir Chalbayev, who’s been moonlighting as Moscow’s personal ATM. 🏧 Also on the naughty list: Grinex, a crypto exchange so sketchy it makes a used car salesman look trustworthy. Regulators call it the “direct successor” to Garantex, which was already blacklisted faster than a bad Tinder date. 👻
On the 18th of August-while the rest of us were busy arguing over whose turn it was to buy the donuts-Ripple and the Blockchain Association Singapore threw a workshop titled “Custody & Cybersecurity.” Translation: “Let’s teach the vaults to sing, dance, and do the regulatory cha-cha.” 🍩🕺
On the fateful morning of August 20, 2025, when the coffee was lukewarm and ambition bordering on feverish, Circle Internet Group (NYSE: CRCL) proclaimed its new membership in the Global Travel Rule (GTR) network. This Binance-led cabal of virtual asset service providers (VASPs) is apparently determined to interpret the Financial Action Task Force (FATF) Travel Rule with all the solemnity of high-church ritual and none of the fun.
Boom. Core Foundation and Hex Trust are serving up a “dual staking platter” that sounds like a dating app but is actually a blockchain buffet where institutions stake both BTC and CORE tokens, keep custody tighter than Spanx on prom night, and earn rewards without ever handing their keys to some sketchy “lending desk” in a hoodie.
Windtree’s stock price has plummeted 97.74% in six months, now trading at $0.11. For context, that’s about the cost of a single espresso shot-or what you’d pay to hear someone explain NFTs for the 43rd time. ☕
Almost immediately, a throng of eager souls surged forward-an eager horde eager to partake-desperately filling the initial cap of 250 million USDT in a frenzy that would make Homer’s Odysseus recoil. Binance proclaims with a mixture of swagger and naivety that this venture melds on-chain cunning with the bland comfort of a centralized exchange-oh yes, the modern miracle of easy blockchain yields for those too impatient to understand the chaos beneath.
Data from the digital ledger Coinglass revealed that this monumental imbalance was born from the stark contrast between the long and short positions liquidated within a single hour. As the SHIB price took a nosedive, mirroring the broader crypto market and the mighty Bitcoin, which plummeted to a low of $112,500 in the past 24 hours, the scene was set for a financial tempest. 🌪️
However, my loves, the air is thick with the scent of fear-or is it uncertainty? Bitcoin’s fear and greed index, that fickle minx, has plummeted from a greedy 56 to a rather nervous 44 in the blink of an eye. Oh, the drama! 😱💔
According to Reuters (and probably some very serious meetings with lots of tea), China’s State Council might approve a shiny new roadmap later this month. The goal? To make the yuan as globally desirable as avocado toast. 🥑
