Lo, the survey respondents of the WEF, with faces ashen as the snows of Yalta, have ranked the dread of geoeconomic confrontation and economic warfare above the trifling matters of state conflict, misinformation, and climate. 🌍😱
Monero, the darling of privacy coins and often dubbed “crypto silver,” has been strutting its stuff in a breakout rally. Oh, the drama! Its price has soared by a staggering 55.65% in just seven days. In the last month, it has graciously delivered a 73.09% gain for holders, including our beloved Brandt, who has ‘confessed’ to making a purchase after spotting its bullish glitz. Fancy that! 💰✨
So, Bitcoin hit $96,000 just as Donald Trump was busy sharpening his Twitter claws against Jerome Powell. The cryptocurrency didn’t just climb-it pole-vaulted over the $1.9 trillion market cap mark, dragging the entire crypto economy to $3.33 trillion. Because, you know, why not?
Key takeaways (or as we like to call ’em, the nuggets of wisdom in this financial haystack):
Spot trading, the honest laborer of the crypto world, managed to eke out a modest $18.6 trillion, a 9% increase from the previous year. But who’s counting? Certainly not the futures and perpetuals, which exploded to nearly $62 trillion, claiming a whopping 77% of the market’s activity. It’s like watching a tortoise try to keep up with a cheetah-pathetic, yet somehow endearing. 🐢🚀
Oh, the plot thickens! The price of XRP took a sharp detour this week, with long-term holders snapping up 720 million tokens between January 9 and 11, 2026. As if the crypto gods decided to throw a dramatic twist into our already chaotic tale!
Crypto analyst Scient, who clearly has a PhD in “Why Is This Happening?”, noted that SUI’s recent antics are “exactly where it should be.” The market, ever the drama queen, has pushed back above a key support zone, which previously acted as a “pivot area” (read: a place where the price nearly collapsed but decided to stay). This suggests the selloff was a “brief deviation” rather than a “structural breakdown,” which is just fancy jargon for “we’re still here, but don’t get too comfortable.”
Short-term holders (STHs) are now selling like they’re at a buffet and someone spilled the mashed potatoes. BTC’s below their average cost, so it’s time to panic or, y’know, find a new hobby. 🤢
This matter holds significance, for Ripple, in its sagacity, had long refrained from publicizing XRP. The rationale was straightforward: excessive discourse might have bestowed the SEC with a more formidable argument. How prudent of them, albeit with a dash of regretful restraint. 😕
Key Observations for the Astute Reader