SEC and CFTC Give Spot Crypto Trading the Thumbs Up 🎉

Imagine that-platforms like the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE), Nasdaq, CBOE, and CME can now list select digital assets without fear of legal repercussions. It’s almost like they’re saying, “Hey, go ahead and play with your digital toys, but don’t forget to clean up after yourselves!” 🧼

Bitcoin’s DeFi Utopia: A $94.7M Gamble or a New Gulag? 🤑

On September 3, as the world turned its eyes to Lombard’s “Community Sale,” the faithful rushed in, clutching their crypto wallets like pilgrims at a shrine. Jacob Phillips, Lombard’s co-founder, declared the sale a “testament to belief in Lombard’s ability to drive onchain Bitcoin demand.” One wonders if this belief includes a healthy dose of denial.

WLFI’s Plunge: A Trump Token Takes a Tumble 📉

On-chain indicators, those pesky little things that always seem to know what’s going on before we do, suggest that the altcoin might be in for more rough weather unless it can muster up some enthusiasm from buyers. It’s a bit like trying to get a crowd excited about a mime act at a children’s party-challenging, to say the least.

Mr. Wonderful Ditches NFTs for Cardboard Gold 🃏💸

The Shark Tank star, whose wallet is deeper than his sarcasm, recently co-purchased a $13 million dual Logoman card featuring Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan. A one-of-a-kind trinket, he claims, for his growing “index” of collectibles. “I’d rather own 33 and a third of it than zero,” he quipped, as if owning a fraction of a cardboard rectangle were the pinnacle of wisdom. 🧐