Ah, Washington, that grand theater of the absurd, where lawmakers scurry like ants before a summer storm, racing to codify the intangible. Fresh from the lips of Patrick Witt, crypto adviser to the White House, comes the whispered promise of a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve. Such folly! As if the winds of fortune could be harnessed by decrees and ledgers. These pronouncements were made at CoinDesk’s Consensus Miami, a gathering of the enlightened and the deluded, where the future of digital finance was debated with all the gravity of a parlor game.