Crypto news

Ah, but the plot thickens! The hackers, with a flair for the dramatic, employed custom vanity addresses—oh, the audacity!—like TKFuckiRGCTerroristsNoBiTEXy2r7mNX and 0xffFFfFFffFFffFfFffFFfFfFfFFFFfFfFFFFDead. One can only imagine the chuckles shared among the perpetrators as they drained the wallets, their addresses dripping with political sarcasm. In the wake of this revelation, Nobitex, caught with its proverbial pants down, hit the brakes on all operations, scrambling to figure out how to put the toothpaste back in the tube.

After a brief moment of glory above $650, the token decided to take a step back, showing signs of stress. Meanwhile, the broader market gauge, CoinDesk 20 Index, is just sitting there, flat as a pancake over the last 24 hours. The drop in BNB price coincides with Donald Trump’s latest call for Iran’s “unconditional surrender.” Because nothing says stability like a former president throwing around ultimatums! 🙄

The decision was anticipated by the market, and the market, in its infinite wisdom, has responded by offering Bitcoin the sort of dull, unflinching stability one might expect from a well-bred aristocrat attending yet another tiresome gala.

In a recent post on X (formerly Twitter, because why not?), Severino pointed out the Bitcoin weekly Chikou, which he claims paints a rosy picture for BTC. Apparently, this pattern has retested support at the candlesticks, and there’s hardly any overhead resistance left. Meanwhile, the Tenkan-sen and Kijun-sen have decided to cross paths in a bullish embrace. How romantic! 💕

In a tête-à-tête with CryptoMoon, our brave captain declared that this shift isn’t merely a structural makeover; it’s a strategic masterstroke aimed at shaking off the inefficiencies that have been dragging Polygon’s momentum like a lead balloon. 🎈

Stablecoins, these miraculous digital roubles—oh, sorry, dollars—cling to the 1:1 value like a Russian peasant to his last potato, making the modern world’s instantaneous payments possible. The bill demands these new money-lenders back their tokens with something tangible, whether it’s Treasury bills, cold hard dollars, or perhaps the odd government IOU. Monthly reserve reports shall now be brandished like Tolstoyan confessions at confession. 📜

Naturally, the broader crypto scene is having a fainting fit, as investors (never known for nerves of steel) dash for the exits when geopolitics throws a tantrum.

Situated in one of the most frenetic locales on this planet, the billboard, a veritable titan of digital display, measures an impressive 36 feet by 24 feet. It is as if the company has decided that subtlety is for the faint of heart! With nearly 50 million souls gracing this display each year, it serves as a veritable marketplace for international brands to peddle their wares. And as if that were not enough, Ripple has also extended its reach to the hallowed halls of Grand Central Station, ensuring that no traveler escapes its watchful gaze.

In a recent post on X (formerly known as Twitter, because who doesn’t love a good rebranding?), ZachXBT lamented the growing scale of crypto-related crime. He estimates that this so-called “Black U” market is thriving, while the rest of us are just trying to figure out how to buy a cup of coffee with our digital wallets. But don’t worry, most of it is still untraceable—so, you know, it’s like a magic trick, but with stolen money! 🎩✨

In a display of economic acumen that would make even the most seasoned economists blush, Trump lamented that the Fed has maintained borrowing costs at stratospheric levels for far too long, costing the U.S. economy billions. “He’s a political guy who’s not a smart person, but he’s costing the country a fortune,” Trump quipped, as if he were discussing a particularly inept contestant on a reality show.